King Zionic Root Drink
Another fun, vaguely familiar find from the West Indian depths of Brooklyn. This one evokes images of muscular Rastas at work, quenching their Zionic Man thirst with funny-sounding herbs: The ingredients list “four-man strength” and “strong back” — surely stuff to put hair on your chest. But it’s balanced with something called “nerve wist” which, we suppose, is for the average sweaty, anxious desk drone with Zionist leanings. The thick silt at the bottom of the bottle can be saved and used as a secret ingredient for something, but we don’t know what. Definitely much tastier than Manischewitz cherry wine.
LATISHA FINKELSTEIN
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