For all the hand-wringing Jews go through around Christmastime, it’s nice to see that holiday jealousy can be a two-way street. This Christmas, in particular, saw a noticeable uptick in people wishing they could swap their Joyeux Noël for a Jewish one…
Some people offered no explanation:
I wish I were Jewish.
— Chris Cathcart (@IAMBOVICE) December 24, 2013
I wish I were Jewish
— OB (@olivblack) December 25, 2013
I wish i were Jewish tonight
— jenny noelle (@jennythehunt) December 25, 2013
For some, an obvious explanation:
I kinda wish I were Jewish right now, I mean Chinese food and movies I’m down — Jillian M (@JMadocs) December 25, 2013
@robertkelly nice Pilot. You’ll be happy with it. On another note, I wish I were Jewish now. I love sesame chicken.
— Jøsęph (@Johoff23) December 25, 2013
Some people needed a Guttenberg-free zone:
Beth’s watching a Christmas movie with Steve Guttenberg as Santa on the Hallmark channel. For the 1st time in my life, I wish I were Jewish — Ben Bartilson (@bennybizness) December 24, 2013
Others should probably just turn their phone off…:
I wish I were Jewish, these whatsapp messages about “Christmas Eve” that are forwarded every second are starting to annoy me
— N D I N A N I ツ (@thee_acetrip) December 24, 2013
This Sex and the City fan is just over it:
I kind of wish I were Jewish. I’m over this holiday season. Meh. Charlotte had a good idea there…
— Carlos Alvarado (@cLosAlvarado) December 22, 2013
The antidote to dangerously low levels of George Michael? Judaism!
They really aren’t playing enough George Michael this holiday season -_- … Times I wish I were Jewish
— Kirsten Alexa (@kirst_alexa) December 21, 2013
Meanwhile, this guy would do it for the laughs:
I wish I were Jewish so if some progressive person said, “Happy Holidays” to me, I could respond, “HANNUKAH’S OVER, YOU IGNORANT MONSTER.”
— Joe Dosch (@joedosch) December 22, 2013
So, Merry Christmas everyone – there’s always next year!
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