Waste Management

Newspaper and cardboard can be recycled, but toilet paper cannot. In an average lifetime, a single human being will flush 4,249 rolls of paper down the toilet—and that doesn’t take into account the four layers you drape over the seat in public restrooms. In an effort to reduce our carbon footprint, Heeb offers you this list of environmentally-friendly toilet paper alternatives.

A race of shit-cleaning robots (pictured above)

The hand of a sleeping friend

A cat

Your rent check

Philo dough

A vacuum

Josh Groban

The Toilet seat

What do you think?

About The Author

Oliver Noble

High school dropout Oliver Noble has managed to parlay his Los Angeles internship with a coke whore into creating tasteless works which that have been featured in Heeb, Girls and Corpse Magazine and Asylum.com.

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