Turns Out Hitler Was A Total Meth-Head

Stop me when this starts to sound familiar: Mediocre artist with delusions of grandeur quits painting, dabbles in politics, gets hooked on hard drugs, sequesters himself away from the world, succumbs to paranoid depression and finally kills himself.

According to newly released US intelligence documents, During the waning days of World War Two, Adolf Hitler (I was talking about Hitler, by the way) was stuffed to the gills with a rainbow of pharmacological uppers, downers, and, yes, straight up crystal meth.

Reports The Independent:

According to a 47-page wartime dossier compiled by American Military Intelligence, the Fuhrer was a famous hypochondriac and took over 74 different medications, including methamphetamines.

It claims that Hitler took the drug before his final meeting with Italian fascist leader Mussolini in July of 1943, during which he apparently ranted non-stop for two hours.

Hitler eased the pain of his final days in his bunker with nine injections of a drug called Vitamultin, too, which contained among its ingredients meth-amphetamine.

The Independent goes on to attribute Hitler’s meth addiction to a series of prescriptions assigned to him by a Dr. Morell, who first began pumping drugs into the Fuhrer way back in 1936. Yes, Hitler had his very own Doctor Nick (well, chronologically speaking, Elvis had his very own Dr. Morell).

Think about that for a moment. Adolf friggin‘ Hitler – a raving meth-head. If ever there was a perfect “Meth: Not Even Once” prompt, I’m pretty sure Hitler is it:

  • Invading Poland and France Isn’t Normal — But On Meth It Is
  • Murdering Millions Of Jews, Gypsies, and Homosexuals Isn’t Normal — But On Meth It Is
  • Suicide In A Bunker While The Allies Bomb Germany Isn’t Normal — But On Meth It Is

For what it’s worth, “Hitler on Meth” is also pretty great inspiration for an Oliver Hirschbiegel’s Downfall-inspired meme-tastic clip, which, as it happens, you can make right here here.

What do you think?

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