“Shit Christians Say to Jews”

Bravo to Allison Pearlman & Phil VanSpronsen for their spin on the “Shit Girls Say” meme, “Shit Christians Say to Jews,” which lampoons American Christians’ often childlike ignorance of Jewish culture and beliefs.

What I appreciate most here is that the video somewhat deviates from the typical formula. Instead of enacting stereotypes, it ridicules the stereotypers – perhaps taking a page from Sarah Silverman’s playbook.

I’m still holding out for a “Shit Jewish Girls Say” worth mentioning. Perhaps I’ll have to borrow a sheitel from my landlady.

What do you think?

About The Author

Daniel Sieradski

Daniel Sieradski is a writer, web designer, new media producer and Heeb's resident Digital Strategist. He is also the founder of Occupy Judaism, ProgressiveJews.org, Jew It Yourself, Jewschool.com and a billion-and-one other digital age Jewish ventures. He has been called "a major figure of the Jewish Internet world" by the Forward, which counted him among the 2010 Forward 50, and a "professional thorn in the side of the American Jewish establishment" by Haaretz.

47 Responses

  1. randy

    yep, just as much as it’s okay that i don’t think this is funny at all, and i’m jewish. c’mon, i thought we were a funny people!

  2. Arieh Lebowitz

    I’d say once every two months we get a call at work asking for a lawyer, for some legal help, ’cause we somehow got listed in a list of places to find lawyers. It would be laughable, except that the people calling really need help – fortunately, we can usually refer them to appropriate governmental or advocacy agencies.

  3. Sasha

    Shouldn’t it just say “shit stupid people say” not really sure what labels it as something a Christian would say.

  4. Valley Jew Girl

    Agree with Sasha. Wasn’t even funny just stupid. What about stupid things Jews say to Christians? Are Christians as a groups like super intolerant? Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuy!

  5. Stupid n00bs

    Uh…that’s why it’s called a meme. People make their own variations of the same concept. n00b much?

  6. yman74

    My favorite is “your Jewish, oh my doctor is jewish” like how does that matter. I hear lines like that all the time

  7. John

    I once was asked to study the Bible on my college campus by some fellow students. When I told them I was Jewish, they literally asked me “since the old testament says that Jews sacrificed animals to repent for your sins, do you still do that today?”

    • Arieh Lebowitz

      The fellow students were naive, and like naive childen at Passover, need to be responded to on their level of understanding. Many Christians relate strongly to what they call the Old Testament, and their understanding of Judaism goes back to and not past when the followers of Jesus explicitly split off from the Judaism of the day to become Christianity. As a result, virtually all of what we know as Judaism in a religious semse, i.e., rabbinic Judaism, including non-Orthodox denominations, is often unknown to Christians. I’ve often found that simply explaining that Judaism evolved significantly both in the Diaspora and within the Land of Israel in the last 2,000 years, and just give them a decent even if rudimentary book on Jewish history.
      One could also point out that a) in the post-Temple era that we’ve been living in for two millenia, animal sacrifice has been forbidden and replaced by other actions, except for the kapporah ceremony at the time of Yom Kippur, and even that is not observed by most religiously-observant Jews, and that b) there’s a wide range of Jewish religious observance and practice that are based on which denomination one is associated with by family and by choice, as well as the country or countries in which one lives and one’s family has lived in for the past three or four generations. Again, a good book or two will do wonders. And it’s always good to note that Christian understandings of the Old Testament are often different than Jewish understandings of the Jewish Bible.

  8. To Each Her/His Own

    Hilarious! And as someone who’s not Jewish (I’m Christian) some of these are valid questions for me. Seriously, how do you spell chanukah? I mean Hanukkah? And, here’s where some may get offended, I don’t like the Jew fro either. I’m Black and I don’t like the Afro either. Cut that mess off!

  9. Paula Conley

    Not sure those comments are specific to Christians. I think any people who don’t understand aspects other peoples’ religion ask questions that sound stupid. This is yet another stereotype and just fuels the ridiculous notion that Jews and Christians are somehow in a competition or something. Many of my Jewish friends just look at me and shake their head with a small smirk on their face when I tell them my beliefs. They find it funny. They’re still my friends…we just don’t believe in exactly the same religious rituals. We do, however, all believe in God and have what’s called FAITH. But more importantly, we are friends even with differences. And that’s what makes this world a lot more interesting and worthwhile. No one is better than anyone else. We are all God’s children. :)

  10. Shulio

    OH my…. it’s rude. It’s true. It’s funny. Flip side to “I’m not racist, but…” could be, “I’d love to educate you! May I help you rephrase that question, so I’m not totally offended by it?” And what about, “So you don’t celebrate Christmas? But are you still getting a tree?”

  11. Melissa

    You forgot the “you’re Jewish? My best friend in elementary school was Jewish.” I get this ALL of the time!

  12. Gabrielle

    I like that suddenly Heeb’s traffic has got a little bit more mainstream… and a lot less understanding of satire…!
    I love “oh but you don’t look jewish at ALL”…

  13. Shayna

    This isn’t that funny.

    Too bad it steals material from other “shit x say to y”

    And yeah agree with the Sasha comment of why does it have to be Christians? I’m not Christian and have definitely asked if Jewish was a race as a young girl..

  14. R

    I think that if you’re on the receiving end of questions like these, then the video is funny! I’m not offended and I am somewhat amused by it! Frankly, however, nowadays I just don’t think this happens all that often, especially not in America. Judaism is so mainstream and theres so much on tv and in the media regarding various jewish holidays and beliefs, that even if one has not met a Jew personally, ppl will still have some sense of what the religion represents.

  15. Sarah

    Some of it was dumb, but most of it was funny. When anyone of any background is ignorant of another culture or people they will tend to ask what I think of as “ignorant” questions, not stupid ones. Sometimes you can’t fault someone for just not knowing something. But some of the statements in the video are just stupid to say.

  16. liz

    I think this was hilarious! I’m a Jew living in the middle of the bible belt down here in middle ga. Every single one of these has happened to me. I am one out of a handful of Jews that live in my very small town, so everyone thinks we are related. It’s a joke ppl. It was made to entertain. If you didn’t like it, then don’t hit replay and move on! I for one enjoyed of very much. Thanks for making it :)

  17. Jeff

    “Many Christians relate strongly to what they call the Old Testament, and their understanding of Judaism goes back to and not past when the followers of Jesus explicitly split off from the Judaism of the day to become Christianity.”

    True. I knew a rabbi who’d had a pulpit in Texas. A rancher once called the shul and asked if they needed any cattle for their animal sacrifices

  18. ol cranky

    I went to undergrad in the bible belt about 20 years ago and damn near peed myself when the nice Baptist girl across the hall asked me where my horns were. I had to call my mom to ask what the hell she was talking about.

  19. Jay

    I always wished I were Jewish. The strength of the many traditions, the richness of the culture, the honour of being the chosen people. It inspires envy. And then there’s stuff like this, where you realize that they look down on me because I was born a gentile and dare to be curious about Jews and Judaism. It’s enough to make me happy I’m not Jewish, after all.

  20. Gershon

    To the people who don’t think this is funny… Well that’s what makes a horse race. Some people like Jerry Lewis some people like Jerry Seinfeld. To the people who think it’s a rip off of What white girls say to Black girls… SO THE “F” What! There was room for it and it works just as well as “What straight girls say to Gay Guys” Did one complain the other was a rip off? Probably not. They probably k’veled for starting an enjoyable trend of what_________ say to ________. Not a single one of you people who complained presented an idea that was unique or better. You’re just an alter cocker k’vetching for the sake of k’vetching. For those who are insulted, That’s probably cause you asked these questions

  21. AnmlOwnr

    I went back to school as an adult in 1997. Unfortunately I was in the bible belt south – a very stupid state btw, (I’m orig from NYC, still am down here, & can’t wait to move already). Anyway, a girl in class had just turned 18, was unmarried w/two kids and overheard my friends & I talking. She came over and asked, “Well, if you’re Jewish, what book do you believe in?” My response was: “You know the whole first half of the bible? That’s the Jewish part, so you believe everything we do.” All she could muster up was a big “ohhhh”. To this day I think she’s still taking it in, haha. I’ve been asked the Thanksgiving and christmas tree question at least a half a dozen times since leaving NYC. There’s also always the joy in the following, “Oh, you’re Jewish.” Then a 4 second pause and; “So what are you doing for Christmas?”

  22. Lylah Katz

    This video was awesome and totally true. Who cares if it’s not as funny as some of the others? It’s perfect for what it is! Growing up in Oregon I got almost all of these, several times, from people who should have known better, (plus others that wouldn’t be so funny in a video). So glad you guys made this!

  23. Jennifer

    That video posted by Zen (Shit Jews Say to Christians) has some pretty harmful stereotypes in it. I’m surprised to see it on this website. There are funny things that I realize I’ve done, but the ‘jokes’ about money just perpetuate really harmful stereotypes and don’t belong here.

  24. Confucius

    I am appalled at the ignorance Christians have of Judaism. I am a Christian who refers to the Hebrew Scriptures what others call the Old Testament. Christianity has deep and meaningful roots in Judaism that, when severed, results in antisemitism and one who dishonors God by not loving his/her neighbor. But when those roots are drawn upon, appreciated and honored results in a more authentic Christian.

    Anyone that says such sh_tty things to another does not show love; nor does one that regards such sayings as sh_t returns the disfavor.

  25. Confucius

    Last paragraph should have ended “so does one that regards such sayings as sh_t return the disfavor.”

  26. Janelle

    As a young African American Christrian female, I found this hilarious. To those that have had their hair felt up without permission, you have my sympathy *hugs*

  27. KevinVA

    So, this was a video about shit you’ve never heard a Christian ask a Jew, right?

    Maybe you should create a video about shit you make up, just for the hell of it, because you’re looking for faux praise and popularity… if only for a moment.

  28. Jon

    A funny people? A funny looking people maybe. Yutz it up, Nasalstein.
    Originality? Oy Vey, this is horrible… like a terrible matza ball soup.


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