For This Guy, Beards Make A Delicious Subway Snack (Is Facial Hair Kosher?)

Sometimes on the subway, I like play what I call the “Lord of the Flies” game. I imagine what would happen if the G were to take a wrong turn onto some long-unused track, never to be heard from again, and all the passengers in my train car were suddenly left to fend for ourselves in the subterranean world of New York’s extensive tunnel system, far removed from the friends, family, and societal order we’d left above-ground. Would we split into factions? Who would align with who? Would only the strong survive? How would we even eat?

As far as that last question goes, I’m pretty sure this guy has it all figured out: Why forage for food in abandoned subway tunnels when you’ve got a meal sprouting from the lower half of your face?

As the Youtube submitter wrote:

This is but a tiny fraction of the number of beard hairs I saw him snack on during the journey, and he must have eaten at least 20 ?

Having never sported a beard long enough to consume, I can’t say with any confidence whether or not I’d also graze upon it during idle moments, so I’m not judging…….

I salute you, facial-hair-eating-guy. In a world of the clean-shaven, the bearded man is king.

What do you think?

About The Author

Zayin B'Ayin

Heeb's foremost authority

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