CBS Cares Wishes You a Happy Pap Schmear This Hannukah

During the finale of The Amazing Race, CBS Cares aired two PSAs awkwardly imploring viewers to gift the women in their lives pap smears for the holidays.

Thank you, CBS Cares. Yes, a pap smear is exactly what I wanted for Hannukah. This campaign to ruin at least one day of my eight crazy nights has also tainted my favorite breakfast food. I can’t think of any worse association for my morning bagel and schmear than a fucking visit to the lady doctor. Also, I don’t know what you’re implying about “the gift that will light up her menorah,” but you’re creeping me out.

Not content to just ruin Hannukah, CBS Cares also blesses Christmas with its gynecological holiday hint. “The gift that even Santa can’t deliver”? I don’t think any woman wants to imagine that fat ass delivering anything near her fur purse. You can read up on the brilliance behind this campaign here.

This is the most misguided gift giving I have ever witnessed. So on that note, Happy ChrismaKwanzaukkah, CBS. I scheduled your yearly prostate exam for Christmas Eve.

What do you think?

About The Author

Lauren Soroken

Lauren Soroken was raised in north Florida but now resides in Brooklyn where Heeb tried to dress her up as Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS her first day on the job.

59 Responses

  1. boychik

    When I think of Chanukkah, I know I think of pap smears. Hey, come to think of it. A lot less than I think of black dildos!!

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  2. Anonymous

    When I think of Chanukkah, I know I think of pap smears. Hey, come to think of it. A lot less than I think of black dildos!!

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  3. Anonymous

    I was convinced to have pap smear when I watched the PSA while I was writing my term paper. I’ve read from an essay that this is important.

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