Issues

Entertainment Weekly Columnist Stephen King This is worse than John Mayer's Esquire column. Stephen King has been locked in a log cabin in Maine for the past 40 years writing, like, three books a week. Let him...

Cotton Swabs Forget the generic brand's common, cotton comb-over—the sound of that extra 40 cents dropping on the counter is music to my wax-filled ears. Using generic cotton swabs is like wiping your ass with...

Endangered Stoops With all the first-wave gentrifiers and old neighborhoodies up-in-arms about the changing face of Brooklyn, it's surprising that nobody has taken issue with the saddest part of new constructi...

Crunch The transformation of what was once a dank gym on St. Mark's Place into a lifestyle brand has been embarrassing: an ill-fated magazine (with "musician" Juliette Lewis), idiotic promotions ("Wicked Yoga"...

Giving A Sandwich To A Homeless Guy How generous of you to offer that homeless guy the crappy half-eaten sandwich rolled up in foil at the bottom of your $595 Coach leather duffel bag. I can't imagine why they...

Guys Who Put Their Hand On Your Back As They Pass In A Crowded Party This party is packed and it's hard to get over to the bar, so I know just what you should do: Take your sweaty paw and touch the magic littl...

Flaunt Magazine We were actually kind of flattered when we heard about your Jewish Issue—after all, we've been giving the lowdown on the hoedown between Jewish and popular cultures for the past five years. The...

Five Minutes Away Where do you get the nerve to tell me that you're only "five minutes away" when you already told me you were "five minutes away" 15 minutes ago? Can you at least tell me how much longer you'l...

New York Times Columnist Deborah Solomon Grouchy journalism, thy name is Deborah Solomon. I'm all for writers having their own voice, but Solomon's interview style is akin to that of an angry heckler sitting i...

People Who Tell You Their Dreams So you dreamt you were underneath the Eiffel Tower wearing a wedding dress and holding a key in your hand. And now you're asking me what I think it means. I think it means you'...

Bathroom Attendants It's one thing if a guy goes and picks up your car for you or carries your luggage to your room, but it's entirely another when he's solely turning the water on and off. Is there some human...

Dating Profiles Do me a favor and just leave the essay section blank next time. No one needs to hear you go on about how you're as comfortable "out on the town" as you are "at home and watching videos." There ...