…But At Least He Only Eats Glatt Kosher

Alright, so maybe Kelly Myzner’s ex-husband has rage issues, and maybe he isn’t the most attentive father, but if nobody’s perfect, at least some people seem to be sufficiently Orthodox to overcome a lack of perfection.  That, at least, seems to be the opinion of Rockland kelly21County Solon Sherri Eisenpress, who awarded Myzner’s ex-husband custody of their three kids, apparently because Myzner is no longer sufficiently devout, and it would be too much of a shock to the Hasidic children to live with her.  

Now, of course, with all these things there’s the he said/she said element.  In this case, the judge seems to accept that the ex has a violent temper, and is not the prime caregiver, nor the caregiver the children would prefer.  And it seems that the main issue is the religious one (to make it even better, since the father is being investigated on abuse charges made by Myzner, her children weren’t even given to their father, but to a foster home).

Jewdar is Orthodox; Jewdar is also a parent.  And while Jewdar hopes his shayne kinderlach grow up to be at least reasonably frum adults, we also hope that they can do so in a loving home–indeed, we’d argue that a home that lacks love and compassion is probably one that isn’t going to produce reasonable anythings.  Ms Myzner is looking for financial and legal assistance in her struggle.  It’s not as gratifying as getting a Veronica Mars DVD from contributing to a kickstarter campaign, but if you have a few shekels burning a hole in your pocket, you might want to pass them her way.

[image via]

What do you think?

About The Author


The Tel Aviv-born, Milwaukee-bred Jewdar has a bachelors' from the University of Wisconsin, a Masters from NYU, and an Honorable Discharge from the US Army, where he spent two years as an infantryman in the 101st Airborne Division. He's the co-author of "The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies", the Humor Editor of Heeb Magazine, and a watcher of TV. Smarter than most funny people, funnier than most smart people, he lives on the Lower East Side with his wife and two sons.

9 Responses

  1. Barbara

    this Judge was bribed (allegedly)by the people in the Jewish community, more than once! she was found to be in kahootz with Moshe Stern, the biggest crook in the Jewish community and she has no respect with her peers.

    this Judge should be arrested

  2. Mike Shapiro

    “We the people of the United States” is the beginning of a document under which this country operates (including Rockland County). The first amendment to that document prohibits favoring one religion over the other. That is exactly what that Solon (a word last used in other than seriously ancient documents to describe the Washington Baseball Team in the 1920s) is doing. Apparently, she has never bothered to read the Constitution of the United States of America.

    It’s a shame that someone doesn’t undertake to push this case all the way to the SCOTUS. Maybe the expense involved would inform the people of Rockland County, and specifically the cult involved, that they can’t just ride roughshod over the law of the land.

  3. Monette de Botton

    This Judge is a disgrace. I am most ashamed today that any Jewish community could let this happen to these children. The children are without a parent!!!!! A real father would have pleaded with the Judge at the very least to let the children stay with their mother for now. Furthermore, unless they intend to remove the mother entirely from the children’s lives, who she is and how she chooses to live will be a part of their upbringing. It is against their civil rights to deny them a proper relationship with a mother who is clearly of NO danger to them. We do not all believe the Satmar way is the right way…….does that make us all bad parents.

  4. Wendora

    Kelly Myzner sits in a jail cell in Rockland County, NY because she was arrested in early May 2016 for conspiracy to hire a hit man with her boyfriend a Podiatrist to have his estranged wife killed “accidentally”. Maybe the judge had reasons for not giving her custody.


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