_The Kosher Sutra_: The _Heeb_ Review

Filling a very unique niche, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has made quite a name for himself, advising self-helpers and listeners of Sirius XM’s Oprah & Friends Channel (Gail’s personal sounding board), in need of that extra pinch of salt in their chicken soup for the soul. This time around (his nineteenth if you’re counting), Boteach gets his hands on the tough topic of boredom: in sex, yes, but if you take his advice, it’s more than that. Eroticism, says the Jew at large, should be interpreted broadly. It’s an appreciation of the emotional and intellectual layers of your lover in the bedroom, but it’s also taking note of the crisp green hue of springtime foliage, or using daily experiences as a jumping off point for deeper learning.

Through an astounding array of metaphors ("snorkeling" rather than "deep sea diving") and real-life examples (Boteach has counseled legions of bored and dissatisfied couples), the sexpert seeks to de-legitimize boredom as an excuse for depression and marital strife. If couples could have intercourse without climaxing for a week, they would come to appreciate the sexual and mental complexity of their lovers, says the randy rabbi. We are overstimulated everywhere, but in the bedroom. The mystery is gone, and that’s why we fizzle between the sheets.

But what’s the solution? Some run of the mill stuff like "realizing our partners’ fantasies" and other, less conventional, measures like sending your spouse to bar to observe how he/she is desired by others (and then getting jealous and rebounding with raunchy make-up sex in the station wagon).

Boteach was the first Orthodox rabbi to host a prime-time television show (TLC’s Shalom in the Home) and this in addition to his other public appearances has made him one of the most widely known and regarded rabbis in the country. The couples he counsels on his TV show and radio program are more often than not gentiles. That’s because, despite his status as a higher-up in the tribe, his advice appeals to pretty much everyone.

But therein lies the problem: There’s nothing really Jewish here. Boteach misses out on an opportunity to highlight the distinct attitude that Jewish religious thought takes towards sexuality. Pick up Eros & the Jews or Carnal Israel if you want to learn about the distinctly attitude that Jewish thought has towards sexuality. Boteach’s book is just another wacky and well-meaning title for the self-help aisle. One can’t help but think that if the book worked harder to incorporate the rabbi’s scholarly area of expertise, it might be more, well, kosher.

What do you think?

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3 Responses

  1. brainyfox

    Bravo! An interesting, thorough review of a book on a Jewish topic by a Jewish author, plus additional urging for more Jewishness! This post is very un-Heeb.com but very appreciated by me. Thank you Sabrina!

    Reply

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