Last week on The Howard Stern Show, the King of All Media gave his audience a status update on depressed porkchop sidekick Artie Lange, who, back in January, stabbed himself nine times and has since been on the showbiz sidelines.
“What is there to update?” Stern asked. “Artie’s cuckoo!”
There has been much speculation as to whether the angry junkie will ever come back to the show — and, if not, just who might take his coveted seat? Heeb 100 alum Robert McKee, Lowbrow Reader publisher Jay Ruttenberg, fetishist phone operator Jappy Princess Melissa and 95-year-old comedian Professor Irwin Corey all weigh in on whether Artie will ever return and who might replace the suicidal tub of lard.
Despite the grave circumstances, this isn’t the first time Artie has skipped out on the show. Do you think this really is his final hurrah, or will he come back?
McKee: I’m unsure what suicide counseling entails, but I imagine it involves a lot of encouragement to restore your working relationships, especially for a celebrity. Hopefully, this experience will be an eye-opener, and he’ll rejoin the cast before they pull the plug on the show. If he gave a shit about his career, and, if he expects to maintain his current standard of living, he’d be best served by not throwing this golden opportunity away. One of the great things about Artie was his ability to laugh at himself. If anything, if he recovers, he’ll probably exploit his insider’s view into a two-hour HBO special.
Melissa: I think we might have heard the last of the baby gorilla in a regular spot, but I do think Artie will be back at some point . . . Seriously, the guy stabbed himself. No way he is getting out of the nut hut anytime soon. Get well, Artie. I love ya, you fat piece of shit!
Ruttenberg: I suspect that Artie will not be returning to the show, at least not full-time. Hopefully, I’m wrong – it seems that Stern is leaving the door open. Perhaps this question should be posed to Artie’s psychiatrists: Is working in such a volatile, ostensibly stressful environment bad for his mental health? Or is holding a regular job — surrounded by smart people who seem to care for him — beneficial?
Corey: Do I what?
This month, Jackie Martling made a bid to return to the show and take Artie’s place. Who do you think would make the ideal replacement?
McKee: When Jackie left, I found Artie’s arrival a breath of fresh air. Artie was more vocal on the show, offered input and commented on everything. Jackie mostly wrote shit on cue cards and laughed maniacally on occasion. I didn’t quite understand the dissent of listeners who made comparisons, thinking Jackie was better. To me, Jackie’s absence went unnoticeable. Having said that, Howard and Robin: It’s been nine fucking years. Throw a bone to your contingent of fans from 20 years back and give Jackie a go. Just make it temporary until Artie puts down the knife.
Melissa: All I have to say is ‘eff Jackie.’ There is no replacing Artie. Well, ok, Wendy the Retard might be pretty fun for a couple days.
Ruttenberg: Certainly not Jackie Martling, who represents a dated and kind of corny version of the show — a relic of an old ‘morning zoo’ mentality. (Who nicknames themselves ‘The Jokeman’?) Artie is perfect for that slot, and few others make sense.
Rosie O’Donnell has fantastic chemistry with Stern, but is obviously far too famous for the gig. I am a fan of Gilbert Gottfried, yet, ultimately, he would prove himself too distracting in that role. It’s a real dilemma. Word on the street is that Conan O’Brien needs a job?
Corey: Who do I think should replace him? You.
Related Posts:
Howard Stern on American Idol? The Heeb Superfan Roundtable Chimes in
Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling Remembers "the Best Jew I Know"
Benjy Bronk: The Heeb Interview
Jackie Martling: The Heeb Interview
BaBaboooooooyyyyyyyyy Fa Fa Floooooey
Attempting suicide is not an indicator that you’re “nuts”.It’s merely a way to get away from people that are truly crazy.
ED Hardy Hoodies ED Hardy Hoodies
Ed Hardy Swimwear Ed Hardy Swimwear
Reply
Abercrombie Jeans Abercrombie Jeans
Abercrombie Pants Abercrombie Pants<
pple tried to stop by the supra mens shoes HTC smartphones manufactured imports of the importance of addressing the bla
Google may pay heed. “Level of community support is certainly one supra parts of the factors we’re considering,” says a Google spokesman who Reply
“We know that now divide and handbags conquer strategy,” White said. “We understand the truth of the distraction tactics. We understand that no Texan leather handbags
Democrats now will proceed supra turbo with a straight up-or-down vote on the health new supra care bill that passe
Woods is the star of Nike Golf, which produces supra mk3 parts apparel including his high-end TW shoes online shirt
Apple tried to stop by the Supra footwear HTC smartphones manufactured imports of the importance of addressing the supra shoesr smart phone patent dispute the role of th
Google may pay heed. “Level of community support is certainly one Supra Shoes Online Sale of the factors we’re considering,” says a Google spokesman who Supra Shoes Buy
one day i went shopping outside,and in an ed hardy store,I found some kinds of ed hardy i love most they are Your website is really good Thank you for the information links of london links of
This is an added discount mbt shoes benefit for people interested in buying the Fitness mbt shoes. The shoe has its cons mainly the price and the issue of Reply
Think Merrell is just for the more active Buy Casual Shoes man or lady? Well think again. Merrell shoes do not just produce casual shoes wholesale a range of perform
where he belonged long before Lou nfl jerseys Piniella finally made the move. But if cheap nfl jerseys any pitcher is dumb enough to throw him a fastball instead Reply
The company that makes mbt Shoes clearance (also known as the anti-shoe) is Swiss Masai. mbt chapa shoesThe uniquely-designed, multi-layered, cured sole is designed to simulate
online store always endeavours to Womens high heels provide customers with both quality products and services, and prides itself in offering the highest level of in-store customer chr
online store always endeavours to Womens high heels provide customers with both quality products and services, and prides itself in offering the highest level of in-store customer chr
One of the biggest improvements to ed hardy kids shoes “World Cup” comes in the form of testing ed hardy purses a gamer’s nerve. With the all-new penalty kicks Reply
The media vortex sucked up adidas sportswear hockey, LeBron James, Tiger Woods, Donovan sportswear shorts McNabb, baseball stars tied to a doctor being investigate
G Star Raw G Star Raw
G Star G Star
Jeans G Star Jeans G Star
G Star sale
Long before that nighttime soap brought him international tag heuer fame, Forsythe worked steadily in both film and TV, earning an Emmy nod back in 1953. Forsythe also tag heuer contended at the
Tom Quinn, senior VP of Magnolia, calls replica watches this an incredible achievement on so many levels. On average, less than 50 specialized films replica watches a year cross the $1 million mark, so to see our little program replica watches blossom int
Dylan won the Oscar in 2000 for his replica breitling watches original song Things Have breitling watches Changed for the film Wonder Boys. Bennett Marcus attended the wrap breitling watches party for Ugly Betty and details the highs and lows
But he’s dug himself a partisan hole with this big bill, and it’ll be interesting to breitling watches see him try to dig his way out. On the one hand, an Academy Award is nothing to sneeze at. Bullock has Reply
It’s almost as bad when you ask tag heuer watches voters how the law will affect them personally. There is lots of doubt and some considerable belief or hope that the new law won’t affect them
This is an added discount mbt shoes benefit for people interested in buying the Fitness mbt shoes. The shoe has its cons mainly the price and the issue of Reply
where he belonged long before Lou nfl jerseys Piniella finally made the move. But if cheap nfl jerseys any pitcher is dumb enough to throw him a fastball instead Reply
The company that makes mbt Shoes clearance (also known as the anti-shoe) is Swiss Masai. mbt chapa shoesThe uniquely-designed, multi-layered, cured sole is designed to simulate
online store always endeavours to Womens high heels provide customers with both quality products and services, and prides itself in offering the highest level of in-store customer chr
In the latest team-up between handbags Nike and UNDFTD’s Eddie Cruz, Nike Sportswear has released the nike air force 1 sales “Eddie Cruz West Edition” part of the Eas
The media vortex sucked up adidas sportswear hockey, LeBron James, Tiger Woods, Donovan sportswear shorts McNabb, baseball stars tied to a doctor being investigate
The company that makes mbt Shoes clearance (also known as the anti-shoe) is Swiss Masai. mbt chapa shoesThe uniquely-designed, multi-layered, cured sole is designed to simulate
This is an added discount mbt shoes benefit for people interested in buying the Fitness mbt shoes. The shoe has its cons mainly the price and the issue of Reply
Think Merrell is just for the more active Buy Casual Shoes man or lady? Well think again. Merrell shoes do not just produce casual shoes wholesale a range of perform
where he belonged long before Lou nfl jerseys Piniella finally made the move. But if cheap nfl jerseys any pitcher is dumb enough to throw him a fastball instead Reply
The company that makes mbt Shoes clearance (also known as the anti-shoe) is Swiss Masai. mbt chapa shoesThe uniquely-designed, multi-layered, cured sole is designed to simulate
online store always endeavours to Womens high heels provide customers with both quality products and services, and prides itself in offering the highest level of in-store customer chr
In the latest team-up between handbags Nike and UNDFTD’s Eddie Cruz, Nike Sportswear has released the nike air force 1 sales “Eddie Cruz West Edition” part of the Eas
One of the biggest improvements to ed hardy kids shoes “World Cup” comes in the form of testing ed hardy purses a gamer’s nerve. With the all-new penalty kicks Reply
The media vortex sucked up adidas sportswear hockey, LeBron James, Tiger Woods, Donovan sportswear shorts McNabb, baseball stars tied to a doctor being investigate
Since the iPhone first launched in 2007, AT&T has had tag heuer watch he exclusive contract to offer it in the U.S. Details of the agreement have never been made public. But AT&T has hinted in recent months that it is preparing for
There has been no confirmation from Apple or Verizon about the launch of this device. That said, there was never a question that AT&T’s exclusivity deal with Apple would end replica watches o
bonds replica watches on earth, cars and watches too share the
same eternal knot rolex watches that has been into existence
for aeons of
The Jordan Wings logo and the age-old comparison shopping Nike swoosh give this shoe a much-needed compare prices vintage feel; however, one of the more interesting and most
One of the biggest improvements to ed hardy kids shoes “World Cup” comes in the form of testing ed hardy purses a gamer’s nerve. With the all-new penalty kicks Reply
The company that makes mbt Shoes clearance (also known as the anti-shoe) is Swiss Masai. mbt chapa shoesThe uniquely-designed, multi-layered, cured sole is designed to simulate
One of the biggest improvements to ed hardy kids shoes “World Cup” comes in the form of testing ed hardy purses a gamer’s nerve. With the all-new penalty kicks Reply
where he belonged long before Lou nfl jerseys Piniella finally made the move. But if cheap nfl jerseys any pitcher is dumb enough to throw him a fastball instead Reply
Nike’s Skinny Dunk High is a christian louboutin shoes slimmed-down and streamlined rendition of the classic cheap Nike air force 1 silhouette that’s made with the ladies
Nike’s Skinny Dunk High is a christian louboutin shoes slimmed-down and streamlined rendition of the classic cheap Nike air force 1 silhouette that’s made with the ladies
This is an added discount mbt shoes benefit for people interested in buying the Fitness mbt shoes. The shoe has its cons mainly the price and the issue of Reply
The rest of the upper features a premium discount nike air force 1 sales leather finishing. Other details discount mbt shoes include a patent leather swoosh and metallic
Customers will expect it to be in parity with what is offered breitling watches by AT&T and other GSM carriers. That said, the Journal story said the upgraded breitling watches GSM iPhone is being made by Taiwanese contract manufacturer Hon Hai Precision
Engadget pegs the date of the fourth-generation rolex watches iPhone announcement for June 22. Engadget also reports that the fourth-generation GSM iPhone will have rolex watches an enhanced screen that will be made for HD video with double the resolution