When people opine the “War On Christmas”, they’re usually talking about an (imaginary) sense of declining Christian influence which has robbed this good nation of its constitutional right to shove Santa’s tush in our face like a bowl full of jelly.
That is – the “war on Christmas” is probably, somehow, the Jews’ fault.
Well, in the case of “Toymageddon” it’s not Jews who are waging war on Christmas – it’s toys: Thousands of ill-tempered teddy bears, ray-gun toting toy robots, and murderous My Little Ponies, all set to exploit our fleshy human weaknesses as they roll across the globe in an unstoppable yuletide bloodbath.
Which isn’t to say that this fa-la-lapocalypse isn’t, somehow, the Jews’ fault. It is, in fact, entirely the Jews fault – specifically funny Jews Rob Kutner (The Daily Show, CONAN) and Stephen and Joel Levinson (Comedy Central and The Tonight Show, respectively), who enlisted This American Life‘s Ira Glass, comedian Eugene Mirman, indie-rock stalwarts Yo La Tengo, and the UCB to create “Toymageddon” as part of the upcoming 2776 album (“A Millennium of America’s Asskickery”) Says Kutner:
For Heeb’s purposes, it’s the most Iras ever to take on Christmas (and if you count Mirman and we three Jewish creators, this is an all-Jew crew)
In other words, yeah, the Jews did it.
2776: A Millennium of America’s Asskickery is “the ultimate comedy-musical trip through America’s past, present, AND future“, featuring Selena Gomez, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, Ed Helms, Aimee Mann, Will Forte, Andrew WK, Jonathan Katz, Sir Patrick Stewart and more. It is set for release in 2014
Proceeds from the album will be donated to the OneKid OneWorld charity, which “provides a foundation for education in impoverished communities throughout Kenya and El Salvador by giving children from primary school up through secondary school the opportunity for a better and brighter future”.
For more information about 2776: A Millennium of America’s Asskickery, visit 2776.us
For more information about OneKid OneWorld, visit Onekidoneworld.org