Sieg Heil! More of Roseanne Barr, Our Favorite Domestic Nazi Goddess

Didn’t get enough Roseanne Barr in The Germany Issue? Lucky for you, we had more choice Barr quotes than we could fit into the magazine. Here’s her thoughts and more pictures, including the Polaroid of Roseanne and Heeb writer, Oliver Noble that is mentioned at the end of "That Oven Feelin‘"

…on brisket I am more a pot roast than a brisket kind [of woman]. Brisket is too tough for me. This is kind of an unspoken intra-ethnic Jewish secret. Like darker ethnic women know, you must burn those pots! You must use chicken fat and olive oil—not dairy or pareve. You must brown those onions for 10 full minutes before the garlic, and then, when it is properly smooshy, you throw in the meat. You do not drain the juices! Our culture is based on animal fat, after all. Kosher salt and sweet paprika is the key. Cook covered on top of the stove. This is the Sephardic way, and it is far superior to the brisket-eating Ashkenazi-cum-Zionist way.

…on hecklers I like to invite the heckler to say his peace/piece, then I say, ‘Thank you for sharing,’ and I ask his name and say, ‘May I call you Dick for short?’ That always works. For women I say, ‘Shut up bitch—I mean, right on, Sisterhood.’

…on politics The rich ain’t going anywhere. They are done with that Christian Right- type stuff—there’s no more money in it. They have become the Christian Left now.

…on vegans Vegans are all coke-sniffing, cigarette-smoking faux socialists who listen to music that has no melody at all, so fuck them.

…on, um, macadamia nuts (because why the fuck not?): The macadamia nut is of higher evolutionary purpose than all of the Jewish people put together joined with all other human life on this planet. It knows exactly what is expected of it, and it does it with no questions asked and no inner conflict and no ‘free will.’ It falls to the ground when its ready to be eaten, and is all protein, no carbohydrate. No human being can come close to that kind of perfection.

Related Posts:

That Oven Feelin’ – Roseanne Barr Turns Up The Heat

Roseanne is Sick of Being Misunderstood

Heeb Publisher Comes Clean On Barr Brouhaha

Heeb TV: We Bring Extra Some of Roseanne Barr’s “Jew Cookies”

The Burnt Jew Cookie Recipe – Over Six Million Served

Roseanne Barr with First Hubby, Circa 1976

What do you think?

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33 Responses

  1. Norman_Fell

    I find this morally objectionable–not being invited to the photo shoot, that is!

  2. boychik

    Never thought I’d long for Roseanne’s rendition of the Star-Spangled-Banner.

  3. hopita

    That’s a shame. I’m a vegan and I was always a fan of Roseanne’s, but apparently she’s not a fan of mine. :(

  4. beachgurl

    Personally I think this is a bit over the top and questionable. I can take a joke as well as the next person, but this is not Roseanne Connor. Roseanne Connor is what people want to see and what made her famous at all.. She needs to stop trying to reinve

  5. urbmase

    This is disgusting, and during the 9 days, no less. Allow me to explain, humour of all colour I am a fan of. The more offensive the better, however this is over the top.
    Today is Tesha B’Av, the saddest day on the Jewish calander. We are in mourning for

  6. erikaherzog

    the vegan quote, i can’t stop laughing…. i love it. i discovered my sense of humor the summer of 1991 sitting on my aunt carol’s sofa in their tv den, laughing hysterically at “Roseanne” (1988). i will always love Roseanne. i’m glad she’s still push

  7. Fatpanda

    @ beachgurl: “this is not Roseanne Connor”…you’re right THIS is the real Roseanne Barr. She is not “trying to reinvent herself” if you ever saw her stand-up BEFORE the Roseanne show you’d understand. Roseanne Barr is the persona she invented to become f

  8. Shewolf

    People need to get a grip!

    Taking a satirical pic of Rosanne dressed as Hitler isn’t a problem. What is a problem is that Rabbi in New jersey that was popped in that raid of money laundering and the Rabbi has been selling kidneys from Israel for an unet

  9. TDRock

    Well then. I’m certainly glad I didn’t mention I’m a vegan during the shoot! LOLOL! I love Roseanne.

  10. beachgurl

    Hey fatpanda, how come your font is different than everyone elses? Could it be that Roseanne is responding to me? Why is it liberals can only fire back with hatred and not just accept someones opinion?
    I thought that is what comments were for. I have

  11. faolchu77

    There as absolutely, emphatically no excuse for such an article or photo shoot such as this. Roseanne Baar, shame on you! Dressing up as Hitler is one thing. But baking gingerbread cookies and making sure they have burn marks on them as if it was a Jew be

  12. beachgurl

    PS To anyone who posts here you better say something nice nice or the Roseanne family will come and attack you like mad dogs.
    I was sent here by a former Roseanne fan, they couldn’t believe it either.
    But then again who cares…You can bet Roseanne is mo

  13. jewishinsuburbia

    I heard Heeb’s publisher on a Baltimore radio station yesterday defending the Roseanne cover. First, the guy needs media training in the worst way. (“Anyone offended by this picture is stupid”). How anyone could not be offended by this picture is stupid.

  14. davidreed

    As a non-Jew, I am surprised how lightly you take the holocaust. Don’t you realize that you undermine your own moral authority with this type of behavior? Don’t you dare be offended, as I certainly will be, the next time someone trivializes the holocaus

  15. sts12003

    I find this disgusting & disrespectful of those who died & those they left behind. Why even claim to be Jewish? You are a disgrace to the name! With “jews” like you, who needs enemies? The God of Israel must grieve your stupidity.

  16. toopolite

    “(…macadamia nuts are) all protein, no carbohydrate. No human being can come close to that kind of perfection.” So says the Goddess Adolfa. Wikipedia says 9.2% protein, 74% fat, 7.9% carbohydrate…could she be mistaken about anything else important?

  17. mokproakus

    Satirical, taking away their power, she is just being herself, she’s jewish…

    Are you kidding me? It is absolutely disgusting.

    Why don’t you call my grandmother who had her 9 siblings actually burned in the ovens and explain to her that Rossanne is ju

  18. eathummus

    More nonsense from Roseanne Barr, whose career has been flat-lining for years. Roseanne has sealed her fate at being remembered as a Hollywood has-been. Can bad taste resurrect a dead career?
    The Anti-Self Defamation League

  19. lester1

    I think the Roseanne Barr photo shoot was great. I only wish Hitler burned every jew on earth in the oven. Especially the jews at heeb magazine. Oh, what wonderful times they would have been if those nazi guards raped and burned in the ovens Bradley Mein

  20. LilsWaltz

    Roseann Barr is a blight on the painful landscape of Jewish history. Her claim to fame seems to be based mainly on the abominable use of unadulterated and sickeningly repetitious use of plain vulgarity. You should desist from touching any subject connec

  21. LilsWaltz

    Roseann Barr is a blight on the painful landscape of Jewish history. Her claim to fame seems to be based mainly on the abominable use of unadulterated and sickeningly repetitious use of plain vulgarity. You should desist from touching any subject connec

  22. HolyJew

    The writer, and most of the commentators (not to mention the former whore) are simply sooooooooo out of touch with their Jewishness, Tisha B’Av aside. let me give u an example so that you should all ask yourselves (including the Jewish yenta’s on the View

  23. Puck

    So, you’re suggesting that African American comedians and entertainers have never made jokes about slavery? Hmmmm…doesn’t sound right to me.
    Also, Ebony is hardly the home of hipster satire (Neither is Heeb, but it purports to be).
    Disliking Israel d

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