Say “Happy New Year” With Gold-Lined Intestines

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This time of year you hear about a lot of different holidays, each more overblown than the next. But the one that is in no way overdone or made commercial is New Years. As Jews, we may not agree that Jesus was the messiah, and we don’t celebrate our new years on the anniversary of his circumcision. That said, given our gastro-intestinal infirmities, we CAN agree that gold-filled poop would be awesome (and totally not excessive).  So if you’re looking for a festive way to celebrate New Years Eve, you can’t go wrong with Shitting Gold pills! Who needs noise makers when you can have glitter-filled poo?

Now, if only they could make a way to make your shit actually smell like roses.

Happy New Years, everyone!

What do you think?

About The Author


Megan Sass is a natural redhead. She is also a writer, actor, and Hebrew School teacher. Turn-ons include: Boxer Dogs, Falafel, and Fanboys (especially those residing in the capital of the DC Universe). You can follow her on twitter at @Megan_Sass.

One Response

  1. Jeff

    We are now, officially, more decadent than any civilization in history.

    Maybe the evangelicals are right. Perhaps these are the “end times”.


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