Robert Rhine: The _Heeb_ Interview

Zany absurdist magazines come and go, but you never hear of one in which one of the financial backers was actually killed by a grizzly bear leaving the surviving partner to handle the fortune and glory of a completely bonkers magazine all by his lonesome. But that’s what happened to Robert Rhine, who is six issues into his quarterly romp, Girls and Corpses Magazine.

Before the Los Angeleno became the perverted publisher a couple years back, the degenerate pub was strictly a plaything for him online. But too many "readers were clamoring to hold the magazine in their bony hands," Rhine said, and so he quit his publicity gig at Universal Pictures to put this sick puppy in print.

Since then, Rhine (with rag in tow) has been featured in Maxim, Stuff, FHM and all the other highly sophisticated literary journals. He finally came up with a little time to talk to Heeb.

When the hell did this thing start and why?

It all started with brain damage. My own. I was nearly a corpse myself at the ripe age of 10 when I was in a nasty accident and got my head cracked open. You might say I saw the light, though I later learned it was the doctor’s penlight shining into my skull. Sixty-four stitches later I was diagnosed with brian tumors and blindness in one eye.

I was struck again 25 years later, this time by an idea for a highly bizarre magazine which would pair beautiful women and rotting corpses. So, like Moses coming down from Mount Sinai with the tablets, I strolled down from the mountaintop with Girls and Corpses … and twin cheerleaders named Dee and Kay who I met at the ski bar at the top of Mount Sinai, too.

There is some dispute at the Heeb offices as to whether or not this is beat-off material or just absurdly dark humor.

If seeing girls in bikinis is beat-off material for you, then you might want to check out this new thing called the Internet. But that does bring up the question whether this is a fetish magazine. Girls and Corpses really is a comedy magazine, I hope, with intentions to explore the darker side of life. It’s that blend of horror and comedy, which I call "humorror," that I like to walk, and it can be tricky with a title that sounds like a front for Necrophilia Digest.

But words are powerful, and I’m sure that Heeb has had its share of folks assuming it was published by Al-Qaeda. There are actually articles at-length in Girls and Corpses which explore topics related to death, dying and the extreme. Hey, we’re all going to die, we just need a sense of humor about how ridiculous the end of the road can be. I have received letters from readers who have actually thanked me for helping them cope with death. In that way, I guess I am sort of the Mother Teresa of the macabre. On the other hand, I also get letters from prisoners.

I don’t see any advertisements in your magazines. Are you really trying to sustain this thing through ad revenue, or did you just knock over a bank and decide spend your newfound fortune like a maniac?

Hey, you guys want to take out an ad? Right now, we have plenty of ads for: Die-Agra, Rigor-mortis Rub, Stuffers Hungry Zombie Dinners, Miso Hony Cup of Soup, Corpsicles, Dismember Mints, Necrophilia For Dummies and Got Corpse.

Who are your readers?

Mostly priests, politicians, cab drivers, ice carvers, Republicans and, of corpse, Jews. Remember, we are a comedy magazine with no nudity. The rest is all in your dirty little mind. We are really Maxim meets Dawn of the Dead meets MAD. Also, I think you would be shocked by how many beautiful women read us and are dying to be in it.

What was filling the gap of this magazine out there in print media before G&C came along?

There are two major newsstand horror magazines, Rue Morgue and Fangoria. They both do a great job of covering horror entertainment. But we are the only ones blending horror and humor. And yes there is a huge gap now being filled by folks who devour Girls and Corpses. We definitely struck a nerve of those hungry for humor with their horror. We are also the first, and likely last, comedy magazine about death. It’s the fans that are eating it up, buying it like crazy that keep this crypt running.

Do you get the same questions asked all the time (like these)? Are you treated as a rock star or as a freak on the street, by your neighbors, the world?

I probably get the same questions, but what’s nice about brain damage is that you don’t remember. I’m no rot star, though I guess the cadavers constantly going in and out of my garage, and sitting next to me as I drive in the diamond lane, tend to draw more attention than my magazine.

Have any plans for a Jewish funeral shtick in a future issue?

We may do the ‘Wailing Mall’ where Jewish women wail outside of Nordstroms. If your readers have any thoughts on a Jewish shoot for us, please have them email us at [email protected]. We’ll be happy to consider.

What do you think?