In a sure sign of the coming apocalypse, Jesus has returned Israel…Jesus Luz, that is–Madonna’s 22-year-old Brazilian plaything. Supposedly, the two are in Tel Aviv on the final leg of Madonna’s world tour. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that the couple is actually in the Holy Land to visit a top secret Dead Sea temple for some pseudo-scientific/kabalistic ritual in which the aging pop star sucks Luz’s nubile blood so that she can obtain immortality.
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