Whenever I have to do some menial task like go to the post office or book an emergency flight home for a relative’s funeral, I find only the fear of God will inspire me to complete the task in a timely manner. Thank Moses for these:
What’s great about these sticky notes is you’ll not only be able to remind yourself what needs to be done, but also what needs to never be done: like talking back to your boss, or worshipping a half-man/half-Pez Dispenser god. I have already posted hundreds of “Shalt Nots” around my computer monitor with every person’s name that I will no longer Facebook stalk. That should keep my mind off them!
Look out for the new Beatitude post-its which will feature tons positive sayings (unlike the judgmental Yahweh sentiment) like “Those who are unemployed shall inherit money from the government” and “Blessed are the Hungry, for they can now get a Foot Long for only $5!” (oh, I forgot to mention that the Beatitude post-its are sponsored by Subway).
BY: Dan Wilbur
Dan is a comedian, writer, avid video game player and goy, living in Brooklyn, NY. He only eats fast food on weekends, loves mayo and occasionally exercises by accident (police, fire). He has read nearly half of nearly half of all the books he owns.
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