Kelly Clarkson To Holocaust: “Never Again!”

It’s true that I haven’t heard the song yet nor have I bothered to read the lyrics but nevertheless, I’m completely supportive of my girl Kelly Clarkson getting pissed off about the Holocaust. And I say, it’s about time! You go, girlfriend. “Never Again,” the first single off Clarkson’s forthcoming third record My December, is the American Idol winner’s way of saying, that whole Jewish genocide thing was totally uncalled for and even though it happened over sixty-years ago, it’s still imperative that all the teenage girls seeking out a strong role model exemplifying female empowerment start caring about Nazi Germany. I can imagine Kelly sitting in the recording studio thinking about which single would make the best re-entry into the pop market. Sure, she could go with another break-up song but that’s so cliché. Anyone can do that. Even Hillary Duff. How about a song that tackles the weighty issue of, um, the media’s distortion of beauty? That sounds totally boring, right? Besides Clarkson’s “imperfections” aren’t going to Photoshop themselves. So why bite the hand that clears up your complexion?

Here’s the thing: No pop star has ever sung about the Holocaust. R. Kelly already snagged the Virginia Tech massacre with the soon-to-be-released “Rise Up,” System of a Down ranted about the Armenian genocide in “P.L.U.C.K.”, Marilyn Manson wrote a bunch of songs about Columbine (granted, they were written preemptively but it still counts), and Bono basically sings about everything else that’s crappy in the world. Clarkson assuredly perused over a list of our recent tragedies and considered the Holocaust a lyrical goldmine. After all, a radio-friendly song about the six million lost would undoubtedly win a Grammy. I mean, we do run the industry. The Simon Wiesenthal Center would rush to get on board to co-sponsor the upcoming summer tour alongside Cingular and Vitamin Water. Imagine the brightly lit marquee announcing the arrival of the Cingular Vitamin Water Simon Wiesenthal Center Never Again Kelly Clarkson Tour 07. It just rolls off the tongue, don’t it? And can’t you picture the $35 baby tee with Clarkson on the front doing her best Resistance pose and, of course, a muted yellow star on the right shoulder? Heck, gimme two!

As a grandchild of Holocaust survivors, I can state with an uncompromising confidence that my grandparents have no idea who Kelly Clarkson is, and yes, I know they’ve been missing out on one of life’s finest pleasures by not jumping along to “Since U Been Gone” while spilling a half-full beer all over the people dancing next to them. But what can I say? They’re alive, no thanks to Hitler, that jerkface. Hypothetically, though, if my grandparents weren’t exclusively listening to Yiddish radio, they would eventually come across Clarkson’s rally cry and feel compelled to applaud the young singer’s sheer audacity to stand in the face of apathy. To awaken the Clays and Christinas of the world and scream, hey, what a second. Yes, you, fan of my spunky charm. What about the Holocaust? What about the Jews? You’re this close to forgetting but I won’t and cannot let that happen. Never again, people. Never [hitting the high note here] again.

Bravo, Kelly. By combining pop radio and the Holocaust you are the living embodiment of courage. And for that, we the Jews thank you.

What do you think?

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The international media conspiracy and/or the new Jew review. Take your pick.

3 Responses

  1. david

    Actually, Los del Rio beat Kelly Clarkson to it. Didn’t you know that “Macarena” means “Never Forget” in Spanish?


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