How to Seduce a 12-Year-Old

Here we have a Jewish musical comedy group creepily singing about girls entering womanhood. Forget about the inconsistencies in religious beliefs riddled throughout the video, Tweens and Hasids is the new Hipsters and Hasids. We already know they can shake ass. It was only a matter of time before they started invading the Long Island Bar and Bat Mitzvah scene. Although someone needs to tell these guys boy bands come in odd numbers (Nsync=5 Backstreet Boys=5 Jonas Bros=3). Your video isn’t going to go viral when you skip over the minor details.

I’m really starting to desire some twelve-year-old tween queen. Be still my beating heart…those are days long gone.

What do you think?

About The Author

The Duckman is the creative director and co-owner of hipsterjew.com. In his spare time, he dreams about being on The Amazing Race.

5 Responses

  1. John

    Jews singing creepy songs about tween girls isn’t a new thing. Caroline Kennedy was 11 when Neil Diamond released “Sweet Caroline.” Of course, he had the common sense not to reveal who he was singing about for a few decades.

    Reply
  2. Joanne

    “Your video isn’t going to go viral when you skip over the minor details.” what exactly would those be? This video is hilarious!

    Reply
  3. Emily

    Nailed all of my thoughts on the excesses of Bat Mitzvah’s these days. So funny. If you’re offended by this, I feel bad for you. They’re portraying a pop duo–the only thing pop groups do is sing corny love songs. They’re just riffing on the fact that according to Jewish law this girl is now a “woman.” Clearly, she’s not–we all know that–but that’s where the humor lies. If you’re gonna call a 12 year old a woman you’re pretty much asking for that to be made fun of. Just my 2 cents! Thanks for bringing me back to my Bat Mitzvah days!

    Reply

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