Passerby in Portland, Oregon, were relieved to learn that what appeared to be blood and scars on five car-crash victims was, natch, zombie makeup. (The Internet Today)
Nation of Islam minister and political liability Louis Farrakhan made anti-semitic remarks equating black athletes playing for Jewish sports owners to modern-day sharecropping. Oum, did he watch The Decision? (The Final Call)
Vaseline has come out with a Facebook app that skin-whitens your photos to be marketed in India. Perhaps a Facebook tanning app to be marketed in Jersey is not so far off? (Jezebel)
After getting ejected from a bar, sloshed Aussie attempts to ride croc but gets leg chewed up instead. Returns to bar. (The Awl)
While most people are griping about recent heat waves, a giant sinkhole is devouring Tampa. Evidently the collective wrath of Cleveland, New York and Chicago basketball fans missed their target by about 200 miles. (Politics and World News)
Who needs Richard Simmons when you’ve got Jesus to make you fit? (Gawker)
Weeks before her impending nuptials, some people are wondering will Chelsea convert? If her parents’ choice to reside in Chappaqua, New York all these years is any indication, she’s halfway there already. (PoliticsDaily)
Ah, the power of Facebook marketing… Anyway, that would be interesting to see the app skin-whitens your photos. At least, you will have a picture of the fairer version of yourself!