The Internet is bursting with cynical stories about Valentine’s Day: tales of V-Day blunders, weepy sagas of the single and lonely, a plethora of articles emphasizing that “he’s just not that into you!!!”
Enough already.
We get it.
Valentine’s Day is a sucky holiday designed to make single people sad, sad, sad.
But luckily enough, Heeb is offering up an alternative to crying into your G&T and inhaling a heart-shaped pizza (courtesy of Papa John’s) all by your lonesome—a super hot one-night stand.
Here’re 5 reasons why our special Valentine’s Day edition of Heeb Storytelling is better than some lame-ass relationship:
1). We will never make you cry bitter tears—only tears of joy.
2). You get to spend the night with not one, but FIVE lovely ladies.
3). You don’t have to meet our parents (although they’ll probably be there anyway).
4). Our performance will be the only one up for critique.
5). We’re a cheap date. So pull on your nicest dress, comb your hair and shell out the 10 bucks—your lonely heart will thank you for it.
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