Canucks. They’re not the benign, poutine-eating nerds from the North you thought they were. In fact, they just might be anti-semites! Case in point: this ad for a terrible bald-spot spray-paint called Hair Cubed.
In a commercial that could have been made any time between 1989 and 2001 (hard to tell), a goy named “Lloyd” sports the world’s ugliest kippah in order to cover his shameful bald spot (if only Lloyd know there’s nothing more shameful than being Jewish and wearing a yarmulke). When “Cindy,” his gauche acquaintance, notices the black satin Kilimanjaro sitting atop his head she blurts out “I didn’t know you were Jewish!”
Oh babygirl sweety-pie: Lloyd’s not Jewish: he’s just lost in a one-man diaspora of duplicity. But after a nice, toxic dousing of Hair Cubed, Lloyd doesn’t need to hide beneath his five-cent prayer cap or Judaism. So he abandons both. And the next time Cindy sees him, he’s no longer Jewish or bald. Which means now…he’s doable.
Text by Megan Neuringer
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