Online Atonement: The 14 Best Digital Yom Kippur Confessions

This past weekend Jews the world over participated in the holiday of Yom Kippur – the day of atonement – in which we confess to, and seek forgiveness for, the transgressions we’ve amassed over the course of the year. While our old-country ancestors may have been limited to confessing their annual sins within the confines of their shtetl synagogue, These days, we have a host of options with which we can broadcast – anonymously – our various misdeeds.

With that in mind, and with help of our friends at the anonymous sharing app Whisper we posed a simple question:

 It's Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement. What's the biggest sin you've committed this year?

To be honest, we weren’t sure what people would feel comfortable confessing to. As you’ll see, though, people evidently had a lot to get off their chests this year. From sex and drugs to bacon and beyond, the Whisper community was refreshingly candid about their past year’s misdeeds. Here, then, are the best, funniest, and most profound anonymous Yom Kippur Whispers of the year:

*****

Sex:

 

The biggest sin I've committed is sleeping with married Jewish men and talking them into eating non-kosher food.

my bf and I got caught having sex in a bird watching box... oops! #sohot

Got fingered on a family's grave stone by my best friends 30 year old brother

Drugs:

 

I'm Jewish too BTW.   stealing lying and tons of drugs but I'll fast for yom Kippur and all will be forgiven ;)

smoked meth for two months straight day after day after day non stop... :( i am currently 7 months clean!(:

Sex AND Drugs:

 

Fucked a guy I barely knew, started using blow and Molly :P still doing it

smoking weed, drinking alcohol & sexting

Delicious Pig:

 

I ate pork  (bacon)  & LOVED IT

Eating pork on Rosh Hashanah

So much bacon!!!!!!

Ill-Gotten Refrigerators:

 

I 'borrowed' $8,000 dollars from my parents business and gambled with it. Took some of my winnings and bought them a new refrigerator. They have no idea.

Sexuality 180:

 

I thought I was a lesbian and then came out, then 6 months later I realized I wasn't and lied about for 5 months.. Wtf is wrong with me

The Kitchen Sink:

 

Hmm I punched a girl in the ear, stole from a gift shop, lied to a cop, lied to the fbi, hit three animal with my car, kicked my dog to the ground. Oh and lied about two of those things... I'm hoping I will do better next year


And our personal favorite…

Whatever this is:

 

I tried to wrap my friend's curly fry sideburn things around my tongue. And he's married. Likely going to Hell for that one.


Yom Kippur may have come and gone, but the sins and confessions continue all year round over at Whisper. Download their free, anonymous app, see what other things people are atoning for, and maybe even share some transgressions of your own. Who knows? Maybe by next Yom Kippur, you’ll be an online atonement pro.

What do you think?

One Response

  1. Joel Alpert

    being cool does not mean doing OUTRAGEOUS things…being cool can mean doing Jewish things. Better than gurus in the Himalayas….there’s big-time depth in it, worth exploring. Now that’s cool….

    Reply

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