Eugene Mirman is one of the most popular comedians working today. He frequently tours, has been on tons of talk shows and regularly appears on HBO’s Flight of the Concords, which is impressive for a Russian Jewish immigrant. He talks with Heeb about the joys of having anonymous sex in restrooms and his very own comedy festival before rejecting us mercilessly.
Happy New Year! Come up with any new jokes for 2010?
Yes. I have one and I plan to write a second one soon.
When did you first know you wanted to be in comedy?
I loved stand-up from as early as elementary school. I used to have tons of Bill Cosby stand-up tapes. At the end of high school I think it occurred to me that stand-up could be a career. I did my first set at a comedy club in Cambridge the summer afterhigh school.
What was the first joke you ever told?
I think my first joke was: "What profession has the highest suicide rate? Most people think it’s dentists, but it’s actually Kamikaze pilots."
How did the first set in Cambridge go? Any hecklers?
It went great. It’s the ones after your first set that are always rough.
Do you have a standard retort for hecklers?
No. But Steve Martin has a great one. (Steve Martin responded to a heckler once by saying “Yeah, I remember my first beer.”)
You immigrated to America when you were a child. Do you still have any memories of Russia?
No, I actually don’t remember anything from Russia, except, oddly enough, the smell of black currant bushes.
What do you love most about living in New York? And your neighborhood in particular?
One thing I love most about living New York is that you can walk out of your apartment at any time of day, go into almost any type of restaurant, point at someone and fuck them in the bathroom with no questions asked. It’s so cool how up for anything New Yorkers are.
They should mention that in the Zagat guides. I live on the Upper West Side, and here the only sex I get in restaurants is when I get fucked in the wallet.
I’ve lived in Park Slope most of the time I’ve been in New York. I like that it has lots of great restaurants, bars and shops, but it feels a little quieter than Manhattan. It’s very cozy. Also, Union Hall and Bell House are right near by, where I do lots of shows.
What’s a perk about touring that most people wouldn’t consider? Or a perk about being a comedian in general that most non-comedians would never consider?
It’s hard to say what people would consider perks or not. I think most of the perks are the things you’d think of — getting to meet comedians and musicians who I grew up admiring, seeing different parts of America and meeting interesting people, getting free tickets to shows and last, but most importantly, meeting drunk people who try to get meto move to their city and write a movie with them.
What drunken regional script collaboration offer were you closest to taking? Or at least intrigued you the most?
Sadly, all the offers involved moving too far away.
What prompted you to startyour own comedy festival?
I was talking with Mike Birbiglia and Julie Smith (who works at The Onion and produces a lot of events with me) after a show at Union Hall and made some joke about how I was going to start my own comedy festival. I then said I was kidding and that I wouldn’t really do that. And Mike insisted that it would be really funny to actually do it. So Julie and I put together a half-real/ half-parody festival in Park Slope two years ago. We had fun doing it, so we did it again and will now probably continue to do it.
Have you thought about giving Jay Leno a headlining spot in your comedy festival this year? He’s a real up-and-comer.
No, not really. But you’re wrong, he’s not an up-and-comer. He used to do comedy in the 70s and 80s and then quit sometime around 1992.
And finally (and from my editor), since you’ve hosted some great events for us in the past, would you possibly, maybe, consider hosting another Heeb event some time in the future?
Absolutely not.
Eugene Mirman will host "Tearing the Veil of Maya" at Union Hall in Brooklyn, NY this Sunday, January 24. His new album from Sub Pop Records, God Is a Twelve-Year-Old Boy With Asperger’s, is now in stores. Alex Goldberg is a writer of theater, TV and film. He lives in New York City. Visit him at www.alexgoldberg.net.
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