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Chosen Comedy: Andrea Rosen

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Comedian and actress Andrea Rosen co-founded the sketch comedy group Variety Shac. She’s appeared in numerous commercials and can be seen on television in Stella and Michael and Michael Have Issues. While waiting for her mom at a restaurant, Rosen chatted with Heeb (via IPhone) about catching a big fish and not being afraid of Asians.

When did you first realize you wanted to perform?

I wanted to be a soap star from an early age. I watched General Hospital all throughout my childhood. Skipped school so I could see Luke rape Laura on the dance floor and then they fell in love with each other. That was a very important episode of GH.

I’m seated way too close to a couple who seem new. They should just break up. They don’t have very much to say to each other.

You should tell them. Save them the trouble of figuring it out on their own.

My mom is now 15 minnies late. And this couple is trying to make conversation about the Caesar salad. Hope they don’t read this.

Also, I just scored 4520 on Wurdle – a game on my iPhone. The highest I’ve ever scored.

This is very Jewish of you–to multitask an interview and lunch with your mother.

My mom is now 23 minutes late. And the couple next to me hasn’t spoken in like five minutes.

Describe the couple, as best you can on an iPhone.

The couple: she’s Asian and he’s Caucasian. One of those couples. As soon as my mom got here, we moved. I was on the verge of having an anxiety attack. Yeah, my mom just got here a minute ago. She’s now peeing.

Why the anxiety attack? Do Asians frighten you?

Ha! Asian people alone don’t frighten me. Just when they are having silent lunch dates with their white boyfriends.

What was your first performance experience in New York once you moved back?

I took a standup comedy class from a really unfunny guy who made a lot if money off of people like myself (who enrolled in comedy classes). Our graduation was a show at Carolines and the audience was everyone’s mom. As I got comfortable, I started doing material about my pussy, and my mom stopped wanting to come to the shows.

Did the pussy material bring you to the next level of comedy?

Am I at the next level of comedy? Not sure what that means but I like the sound of it. I guess I’m at where I’m at because I’ve kept it up. I’ve been doing comedy for over ten years — ugh!!! — perseverance! It’s not a relay race, it’s a marathon, blah, blah, blah.

Any embarrassing stories from your early acting days? Any really awkward auditions or performances?

Here is an embarrassing story.

Of your film roles, Stella, and commercials, what gets you most noticed on the street? Any weird stories of fame yet?

When Stella was on, I was recognized by a 12-year-old boy. He was super-pumped to see me. And I was super-flattered. But mostly if people recognize me, they can’t place me, so I get a lot of "How do I know you?", "Did we go to high school together?"

I understand you’re an excellent fisherwoman. What’s your biggest catch?

I hold a women’s fishing world record. I caught the biggest Permit fish (that’s the name of the fish) on an 8-pound test line in Miami Bay a few years ago. In this cartoon, I tell the story:

andrea_rosen_2_872

Any aspirations, professional or otherwise, for 2010?

I want to sell scripts, continue doing stand up, get better at everything, always have health insurance and see the Pyramids.

I know you don’t use Twitter, but do you want to give me a few tweets right now?

Is deodorant supposed to sting? Just put on some natural stuff – probably made of jelly fish.

Just saw a woman jogging in a half shirt. The covered up half wins. Does that make sense? Like the uncovered half was all jello-y and grody.

I fucked Tiger Woods too! Just kidding. He’s too dead in the eyes. No charisma!

Variety Shac performs the first Thursday of every month at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York. Variety Shac will perform in Los Angeles on January 9th with special guests John Gemberling and Sarah Silverman.

Alex Goldberg is a writer of theater, television and film. He lives in New York City. Visit him at Alexgoldberg.net.

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