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Bishop and Douch: The _Heeb_ Interview

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Bishop and Douch have been winning over some pretty big fans with their D.I.Y. filmmaking–from Kristen Schaal to David Cross (who appeared in their most recent film). The duo might be the brightest hope for English comedy in quite some time.

On the video ‘A Brief History of Bishop and Douch,’ you talk about how Moby was a former member of your comedy team, how one of you dated Whoopi Goldberg and about Douch’s addiction to heroin in the 1980s. Douch, I’m wondering, what was it like doing it with Whoopi?

Douch: Honestly, I remember very little about that time in my life. Between the heroin addiction and 24-hour Moby parties, I had no idea what was going on. I think we got on all right during our relationship. One day we were sat on the sofa (or couch) watching a VHS of her film ‘Eddie’ and we were just laughing our asses off. Seriously, I was in tears. That’s when I realized I had a problem. We checked into rehab the next day and haven’t spoken since. Last I heard she was dating that guy from Donnie Darko…Patrick Swayze.

Bishop: I walked in on them once. Whoopi Goldberg is the most flexible woman I have ever seen. She’s like a slinky.

Douch: So that’s why you pushed her down the stairs.

In your video starring David Cross called ‘The Big M,’ was David using an example of method acting?
Douch:He really does like to become the character. I met up with him in London while he was shooting his new pilot and he was hungry. We filmed the sketch, then I asked if he wanted to get some lunch. He just grabbed my empty Coke cup and ate it, straw and all.

Bishop: David spent many years on the streets before his illustrious career in comedy. He was licking the insides of McDonalds bags long before Mr. Show, and, if you’re lucky, you may catch a glimpse of him running through Central Park with a KFC bucket over his head.

Douch:But seriously, he was great. He read the script, then we ran through a bunch of takes. Each time he was adding new stuff in. He’s a really naturally funny guy.

You guys are coming to the U.S. in July–I’m wondering, is it time for the British to take us back? Is this the beginning? Bishop: It actually begun last year when we rocked New York for 10 days. Some say it was the finest 10 days in the city’s history. Those people are right. Those people are us.

Douch: We’ll take whatever we can get here, so yeah, we’ll have you back. Let us speak to Gordon Brown and get it all sorted. Leave it with us.

Kristen Schaal seems to like you guys; she likes Heeb also. Who do you think she likes more? You guys, or us?
Douch: What’s with this competitive turn? Kristen’s lovely, I don’t think she’d like to pick favorites. Surely we could exist in a world of equal awesomeness? No? OK, then she likes us better.

Bishop: She bought us coffee and a bagel. I think that pretty much seals it.

Douch: I guess we win.

Everybody knows the food in England sucks. I’m wondering, how do you plan to deal with eating good food while here in America?
Douch: We’re actually big lovers of American food. Our favorite place to eat–and to all you New Yorkers, this probably sounds really lame–is a deli near Times Square. Don’t know its name, but we eat there almost daily when we’re over. I love to try out new things when I’m away from home. I had sushi for the first time last year. I was hanging out with the staff in Rififi and at the end of the night, someone came up to me and said, ‘We don’t have any weed, but our door guy has some sushi’. Turns out it’s amazing.

Bishop: I have been travelling across the U.S. for the past month, and have consumed more meat in that time than I do in a year back home. A ‘small’ meal here is a large in the UK and the extra large would feed a family for a month. Visiting the ‘restroom’ every half hour is the only way to deal with it. Also a bucket of ketchup.

Douch: If you want real bad food, go to Scotland. We spent last summer in Edinburgh and they’re insane. Find the right place and they will deep fry anything for you. We had a chip shop we kept going to with new items for them to batter. I remember the guy saying: ‘I’ve spent the last 25 years trying to cook the perfect piece of fish. Then you two come along and say, "Throw a Snickers bar in."’

What the hell is the deal with Branson pickle relish? That tastes like something that has been sitting in my grandmother’s fridge for three years.
Bishop: It’s pretty nasty stuff, but it keeps our teeth nice and straight, so we have a spoonful every night before bed.

Douch: It’s one of those ‘only in the UK’ things, like dunking biscuits in tea or Aled Jones. I don’t really understand it myself. I’d eat it if I had to, but I’m more of a spice man. I think I’d do quite well for myself in Mexico.

If you had to take a guess, who is the greatest comedy duo of all time?
Douch: As much as I want to be traditional and British and say something like ‘The Two Ronnies,’ I’m going to say Cross and Odenkirk. Mr. Show is one of our biggest inspirations. Things like the pre-taped call show, Story of Everest and the whole crap in a box episode are some of the finest sketch writing ever. It was a real honor having Cross perform in something we’d written. A definite highlight.

Bishop: Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Now that shit was funny.

Douch: Oh yeah, Bennifer, (s)he was hilarious. I really liked that Jenny From the Block sketch.

What do you think?

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