Bad News _Heebs_

In a “game”: that will surely go down in Jewish history as our biggest loss since the war in Lebanon, the ragtag _Heeb_ softball team fell to the baseball behemoths of “Paragraph”: in a close game of 25-2.

Our stellar line-up included _Heeb_ staffers and Friends of _Heeb_ alike, including birthday boy “Zack Attack Sultan”:, “Samm Levine”: (we would have picked him first) and “Andrew Cassese”:, but without our own “Sandy Koufax”:, Hank Greenberg or “Erskine Mayer”:, we just couldn’t pull out a win. We only got two runs, but should’ve gotten points for every ball we actually caught (although, we still would have lost).

But rest assured, we’ll be hitting the batting cages this weekend and will be much more prepared to play the stoner-jocks from _High Times_ on Central Park’s Great Lawn, Monday at 5:30. Stop by to cheer, heckle or buy us a conciliatory after-game beer.

Oh, and if anyone has a baseball glove they could lend us for the game, we’d be much obliged.

What do you think?

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7 Responses

  1. E.Steven

    What other publications are in the league? Because I’m pretty sure you guys could beat the NY Review of Books.

  2. smax

    Maybe we should have spent our pre-match practice time, polishing up our pitching instead of our rhyming…. “pica pica, double em dash; paragraph are full of trash”. Oops.

  3. ruthie

    I really enjoyed being the Samm Levine / Heeb Magazine one person cheering section at the game on Thursday. I might be able to rustle up some semi-coordinated friends to join in if you need more players for the High Times game. I’ll also see what I can do

  4. lobster

    The oddsmakers are well aware of the explosive matchup between Jews and stoners, as Caesar’s Palace gives the Over/Under for Heeb v High at 3½ ..

    My prediction: 0-0, bailed in the 6th as everyone breaks for m-ball soup and Vancouver-grown kb in the tun


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