By now everyone knows about former congressman/current mayoral candidate/perpetual sext-er Anthony Weiner’s most recent bout of online naughtiness – This time under the (admittedly awesome) nom de porn “Carlos Danger”. And while I can understand Weiner’s use of a fake name for online shenanigans, I can’t help but wonder what made a nice Jewish perv like Anthony pick a name like “Carlos”. Sure, it’s dashing, but I don’t think anyone looks at Weiner and thinks “sensual Latino”. What’s the matter, Tony? Not enough sexy Semitic pseudonyms out there for you?
So, next time Weiner poorly covers his sexting tracks (because – who are we kidding? – of course there’ll be a “next time”), he should feel free to use any one of these decidedly Jewish sexting names:
Chayim Schmeckle
Morty Cockendbaltz
Shlomo Tushyschtupper
Tevye Schmegma
Yossi Schlong
Shmuel Knish-licker
David Dangleputz
Yitz Schvancepoker
and of course…
Anthony Weener
Nice work, comrade. Though I think “Norman Fell” would have been apt given his penchant for breaking the fourth wall.
Dick Shmekus?
The Carlos Danger moniker was stolen from old Fireside Theater schtick. I doubt he’s that creative.
Dude— Hymen Burstein is what I would have chosen
I use Barry Schlongman. Instant hit at the bars.
Morry Lesserman.
Is his name, Anthony Weiner, a real name? Wasn’t he named Sheldon Weiner at birth?
[…] at David Letterman and Heeb Magazine have already created lists of alternative online-sexting names for former U.S. Congressman Anthony […]
David Dangleputz!
Very, very funny. You question “Carlos” as not being semitic enough; Anthony is such a nice Jewish name? Does he have a sister named Isabella?
Ah putz ah Yid’