“Alternative” Parenting Techniques
I don’t give a shit about your boy’s need for “imaginary play.” Especially when the little brat spills his organic chocolate milk all over my $200 shoes. Am I at McDonald’s Play Place? And it’s not okay to let him scream in a restaurant because he needs to “express himself,” okay? Not when I’m trying to enjoy this plate of risotto ($15). I have news: The social contract does extend to you, even after you procreate. And you owe me $215 bucks.
DANA MACKOVER
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