Ultra-Orthodox Jews, Delivered Fresh

Talk about flying the friendly skies… Redditor FinalSay posted this gem to the popular /r/Atheism subreddit this morning. He claims it’s an ultra-orthodox Jew who, when faced with the prospect of flying – and therefor risking physical contact – with women, opted to wrap himself in plastic to avoid the grave sin of touching a member of the opposite sex (God forbid!)

Nice try, FinalSay, but our experts at Heeb HQ have analyzed every pixel of your image, and have determined that this is merely a new vacuum sealing method designed by the Ultra-Orthodox to ensure that their Jews are delivered fresh, daily (There’s nothing worse than spoiled Jews. Ask any burned-out Hebrew school teacher).

An Orthodox Jew in an airplane with women - so he covers himself with a plastic bag... - Imgur

Remember folks, if the seal is broken, your Jew may not be at peak freshness.


What do you think?

About The Author


Heeb's Managing Editor knows more about Iggy Pop than you.

7 Responses

  1. RW

    Yeah, this is really high-calibre journalism, isn’t it? I have no idea what the details are in this picture, but one is tempted to point out the Haredi Jew to the left of this fellow, plus the fact that countless Haredi Jews fly every day, and I have never seen one in a bag before.

  2. Daniel

    Actually the story is different,
    This person is a COHEN, which in judism is not allowd to enter cemeteries, since the plane’s route goes above a jewish cemetery he was told that if he is sealed then he can safly travel above a cemetery.

    It doesn’t make more sense then the story you published but this is the actual reason and not because he was afraid to sit next to woman (because as you can see – he is not)

  3. Benjamin

    This kind of silliness is an example of why it is difficult to take the orthodox seriously about anything.

  4. Brian

    (because as you can see – he is not)- sure, not now -now that he’s wrapped and safe from female (and goyim) cooties.

  5. x

    Ummm, isn’t that dangerous? I mean, there are choking hazard warnings written on bags all the time… :S


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This will close in 0 seconds