Tuck Off

As the airwaves are flooded with ads for “Brett Ratner’s”:http://defamer.com/hollywood/brett-ratner/ latest “meisterwerk,”:http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/rush_hour/news/1648729/ we at Jewdar feel like the one character in a horror movie who can see that another character is really an alien/vampire/evil mandroid, but for the life of him, can’t get anybody else to see the truth. Despite that, we will continue to speak knowledge to power. “Chris Tucker”:http://www.popmatters.com/columns/posner/051213.shtml isn’t funny. The man doesn’t say anything funny, he’s not called upon to do anything interesting or original; all that’s expected of him is to act as an un-freaking-believably annoying caricature of a black guy. If life worked like a comic book, Chris Tucker would have been created by a freak accident when a truck full of chemicals was struck by lightning and crashed into a ghetto comedy club, somehow anthropomorphicizing all of the “This is how white guys ______, this is how _brothers_ _________” jokes bandying about the place.

Let’s be absosmurfly clear on this; Jewdar is not recommending that anyone kill or even maim Chris Tucker; that would be wrong. But is it so much to ask that every man, woman and child in America write to their congressman and demand passage of a law that would ban Chris Tucker from getting within a hundred feet of a movie camera?

What do you think?

About The Author


The Tel Aviv-born, Milwaukee-bred Jewdar has a bachelors' from the University of Wisconsin, a Masters from NYU, and an Honorable Discharge from the US Army, where he spent two years as an infantryman in the 101st Airborne Division. He's the co-author of "The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies", the Humor Editor of Heeb Magazine, and a watcher of TV. Smarter than most funny people, funnier than most smart people, he lives on the Lower East Side with his wife and two sons.

5 Responses

  1. goygeous

    How ironic that a post bashing Chris Tucker for not being “funny” in an attempt to be “funny” manages to be incredibly “unfunny.”

  2. iconic

    ” a law that would ban Chris Tucker from getting within a hundred feet of a movie camera ” jewdar, I propose an amendment. Ban to extend to t v camera. Tucker has become the darling of the talk show circuit. They can’t

  3. bigshank2

    if the man was able to get any other roles besides this rush hour doody, i would probably consider adding a little “PS. no more chris tucker movies” in with my “please send peacekeepers to darfur” email to senator clinton; but since i seriously can’t imag

  4. jewdar

    C’mon goygeous, be a little nice. Can’t we just leave it as “unfunny?” Does it have to be “incredibly unfunny?” How can we expect the Israelis and Palestinians to reach a compromise if we can’t?


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