Some Meat on Your Bones

In the wake of the National Bacon Explosion, an Esty store is peddling an eerily perfect bacon scarf. They describe the swine swath:

"The scarf is a bumpy rectangle bacon shape, and it measures approximately 41″ x 9.5″ at its narrowest near the middle and 11″ at its widest near the ends. It looks like a real slice of bacon, with all the striations of fat and meat."

Sadly, the scarf is marked as sold out. But maybe that’s a good thing as the seller goes on to say:

"This scarf comes from a household with cats, although the cats were not permitted to wear the scarf. If you absolutely have to wash this scarf, use cold, soapy water. Lay it flat on a towel to air dry."

What do you think?