President Bloomberg?

As Republican and Democratic Presidential hopefulls increasingly become hopeless, Michael Bloomberg continues to “raise his profile.”:http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/01/07/bloomberg-drops-no-hints-in-oklahoma/ The media is increasingly wondering whether New York City’s mayor will soon announce his candidacy. While Bloomberg continues to deny that he’s interested in being the first 5’8 Jewish Chief Executive, I don’t buy it for a second. He’s running. And in the past few days, using New York City as an example, I have been imagining our great country being run by Mike and ambivalent about whether a President Bloomberg is a good thing. Here are just some of the reasons why I may think twice before casting my vote for Bloomberg in ’08:

1. Our great nation covered in scaffolding. Everywhere you turn—whether it’s Arizona, North Dakota, or Florida—there is a small gathering of illegal immigrants smoking, checking out the asses of walker-bys while shaded from the hot sun by their not-so-stable, hodge-podge construction of random pieces of wood and metal.

2. Every American block has one Duane Reade, one Starbucks and one Bank of America therefore, U.S. citizens get lost whenever they leave their houses because, essentially, every block looks the same.

3. Priced out by unfordable housing or low-income living, middle class Americans are forced to move out to Canada which is kind of like the U.S. in the same way that Brooklyn is kind of like Manhattan but really not.

4. Confused by his whiny twang, politicians and delegates find it difficult to determine whether Bloomberg is complaining or not.

5. And, of course, Jews start frequenting the White House.

What do you think?