Thanks for agreeing to this electronic interview. Glad you could make it. So what do you think about Jews?
Every Jew I’ve ever met has always seemed nice. They’ve always seemed considerate of others and seemed to be good people. And that’s exactly why I don’t trust them. The Jew is a very sneaky creatures. Yes, a creatures! Don’t ask me how they do it. All I know is that Jews are lizards sent by Satan to enslave the earth. But so far it’s worked out fine for me, so I say keep it up!
Makes sense. If the Jew lizard-masters are going to keep humans as pets, why not enjoy being pampered? And you are correct, there really is only one Jew that is many creatures. Much the way there is one Christian god that is an old man, a little baby, that baby eventually grown up and killed and a ghost, but not the ghost of that dead man, probably more like an astral projection of the old man, all at once. Is that what you meant?
That’s exactly what I meant. The Jew is a magical lizards that I hope hampers me when it(s) take over. It really couldn’t be much clearer than that.
Got it. And just to let us know where this clarity is coming from, can you say a little bit about who you are?
I’m Shane Mauss. I’m a part-time stand-up comic and a full-time man. So 40 hours a week I’m a man, the other 128 hours I mostly sleep (like a baby).
Photo by Chris Dempsey
A baby man, I’m sure. As long as the baby you sleep like isn’t the baby Jesus, because he sleeps like he’s going to be killed in thirty years, right, man-baby?
I like how young Jesus was when he died. It cracks me up because whenever I try to talk politics to my super-conservative relatives and I say something they don’t agree with they always say something condescending about how old I am and so I clearly don’t know anything about life. I always want to remind them that I’m the same age as their lord and savior was when he said all the things that they base their lives around.
Well put. Jesus couldn’t have put it better himself. Or maybe he could have if he lived longer. (Zing.) Oh well. Anything else to add? Like an explanation of why you kept leading this discussion towards the death of Jesus?
Well, it’s only the best thing to ever happen. Even Christians are glad that guy died. Slam Jesus! Everyone wanted you dead! Even your followers!
Fair point. Thanks for sharing, mannish baby Shane Mauss.
Shane lives on the internet at www.shanecomedy.com and twitter.com/shanecomedy. Myq lives on the internet at www.myqkaplan.com and twitter.com/myqkaplan.