Matisyahu: Pray Like a Rock Star

By: Mike Dojc

Following a concert, often the evening is ended with a nightcap or a trip to IHOP for a friendly debate over the most glaring set list omissions.  After the sold-out Matisyahu concert on the University of South Carolina campus in bucolic Columbia, SC last week, I, along with nine other Jews, shared the unique post-show experience of participating in an intimate Ma’reev service with the righteous Reggae singer.

Anybody and their pious uncle can flip pages along with a congregation, but it takes a certain je ne sais quois to pray like a rock star

1) Make an Entrance

When you greet the rest of your minyan, do so without using obvious attempts at cool-talk parlance like “where the bitches at?” or attempting passé hand slap/bro-pat combos.   “Anybody know where Jerusalem is at?” was all Matisyahu said when he sauntered into the room where us fans waited clutching our prayer books.

2) Be too cool for your Siddur

Matisyahu didn’t even need to glance at his book and still set the prayer pace, bobbing in sync with the holy words.  You can achieve this the hard way by memorizing the whole schimoli or learn how to mumble fervently and fake the affectation, being sure to be most audible on obvious phrases so no one takes notice.

3) Circulate

Don’t be a prayer flower, uproot and mingle about with your mishpocha.  Matisyahu flitted about giving everybody the opportunity to say that not only did they duvvan with a rock star but they also brushed tallit with one.

A master of psychedelic syntax and honey dipped syllables, Mike Dojc honed his craft in the editorial grotto of Maxim in NYC. There he developed an appreciation for budding supermodels’ pet charities and service journalism penning stories on how to start a harem, become a cult leader, and hack down that tree blocking your view of the nudist camp next door.   When not tapping the keyboard, Dojc enjoys low-fat Greek yogurt, high frequency stock trading, and long walks on the beach with his pet rock Igneous.  Follow Mike on twitter!

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