It is probably fair to say that few people in the world have spent more of their time dwelling on the wonder of the world that was The Two Coreys than Jewdar. We are thus saddened by the death of Corey Haim(may his family be comforted amongst the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem), particularly because we were having an imaginary conversation with him just the other day. It’s the sort of thing Jewdar does quite often with Jewish celebrities Grades B and below. Nonetheless, it is rather remarkable timing.
Haim and Jewdar were discussing the recent efforts by Texas conservatives on the state’s Board of Educationto essentially rewrite the book (or at least the textbook) on American history. The Canadian-born Haim couldn’t understand what all the furor was about, since in his country, the only arguments are over language, and half the country can’t follow them anyway. But he did feel that the conservatives had a point when suggesting that the speeches of Jefferson Davis should be given equal billing with Abraham Lincoln (say what you will about Haim, he had no problem with sharing top billing). Haim felt, however, that Davis’s speeches didn’t really capture what the Confederacy was all about, and suggested instead that Texans should read the Cornerstone Address, given by Confederate vice-president, Alexander Stephens. In it, Stephens states clearly what the founding principles of the Confederacy were, namely:
"Our new Government is founded upon exactly the opposite ideas; its foundations are laid, its cornerstone rests, upon the great truth that the negro is not equal to the white man; that slavery, subordination to the superior race, is his natural and moral condition. This, our new Government, is the first, in the history of the world, based upon this great physical, philosophical, and moral truth."
As Board member Don McLeroy pointed out, "the left has a real problem seeing their own bias." We ask the Texas Board of Education to honor the memory of Corey Haim, and follow his imaginary simulacrum’s plan, thereby showing that Texas conservatives have no such blinders, and are perfectly willing to teach kids the whole truth about the role models they want them to emulate.