Gentlemen, start your engines. Never again will you need to pull out, prophylact up or pray because Israeli scientist Professor Haim Breitbart has invented a birth control pill for men. Everyone’s happy: men no longer need to worry about lying partners (and the ensuing years of child support bills,) feminists appreciate that the burden is no longer only on the woman and the Jews are content with yet another golden achiever on their permanent record.
So far the “Bright Pill” is still in early testing stages, although mice administered with it have been responding remarkably well: Their sex drives are normal, they show no signs of mood changes and, most importantly, they’re not fathering any cute little mice babies. All signs point to a human release within the next few years. Which is great news, but it begs the question: How the hell are they going to emasculate television ads for the Pill?