Israel Needs to Consider More Noise Pollution Bans

By Charles Winkleman

Israel is trying to ban the muezzin, the Muslim call to prayer. Because “freedom of religion should not be a factor in undermining quality of life“. But banning only one small part of noise pollution will not alleviate the Mideast Noise Crisis. Here are some other purely quality of life bans that Netanyahu needs to consider:

  • Ban pork because pigs squeal too loudly.
  • Ban women’s voices on national radio because of the high pitch.
  • Ban the Muppets because of socialism Animal plays the drums too loudly.
  • Ban all sexual positions with women on top to prevent shrieking.
  • However, sirens alerting Orthodox Jews that it is candle lighting time must still be permitted. Because religious freedom and cultural sensitivity is important.

    Charles “Chicky” Winkleman is co-owner and editor of Hipsterjew.com, a relevant blog you’ve probably never heard of. Sometimes he even tries to tell jokes. Follow him @chickywink

    What do you think?

    About The Author

    Heeb

    The international media conspiracy and/or the new Jew review. Take your pick.

    3 Responses

    1. AbeBird

      What nonsense are you talking…… ?! those muezzins calling 5 times a day by laud volume microphones and huge amplifiers aimed deliberately at Jewish neighborhood and not directed to the their own believers. It’s about mosques that located inside mixed cities or very close Arab-Jewish towns. Each pray takes half an hour. The first loudly pray starts at 5:30 AM. If you like that kind of arrangement I will make all efforts to build a mosque next to your hose.

      Reply
    2. Scott Wesley

      Build reflector towers….to broadcast back to the loud speakers, they would get the message and so would everyone else in the neighborhood! There you go Mr. Rogers-berg.

      Reply

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