Ancient Israelite Text Inspires Cyberharassment

Let’s be clear about this. There’s no such a thing as good cyberharassment. Pretty much by definition, it’s always bad, and always crazy. But accepting those qualifiers, we can say that there is a difference between reasonable and unreasonable cyberharassment. If we cyberharass K-Fed in the hopes that by doing so, we will will drive him to kill himself, thereby winning for ourselves the eternal gratitude and devotion of Britney, one might argue that this is certainly based on an insane premise, but that the risks involved are well worth it considering what you stand to gain. Let us turn now, to the sad case of Raphael Golb, who stands accused of a much more tedious and unreasonable cyberharassing episode. Golb is the son of Norman Golb, a respected University of Chicago scholar and expert on the Dead Sea Scrolls. In what passes for a controversy in the nerdy halls of academia, while many scholars argued that the scrolls were written by the Essenes, he argued that they were written by a different group of Second Temple-era Jews. Hot, hot stuff. So hot, in fact, that in the wake of new challenges to Golb fils’ thesis, his son, Raphael, decided to launch an online campaign to slander his father’s foes, complete with fake identities and identity theft. So to reiterate, while still bad and crazy, cyberharassing K-Fed, in the hopes of winning Britney’s love at least has a payoff which makes the whole thing worth it in an insane way (and hey, besides being hot and rich, Britney is a little unbalanced herself, which makes the plan seem all that much more plausible). Cyberharassing NYU professors so that people will think one obscure group of ancient Jews wrote some scrolls as opposed to another obscure group of ancient Jews? That’s just plain nuts. Now, if you don’t mind, we’ve got a long rambling email to send to to Blake Fielder-Civil.

What do you think?

About The Author

jewdar

The Tel Aviv-born, Milwaukee-bred Jewdar has a bachelors' from the University of Wisconsin, a Masters from NYU, and an Honorable Discharge from the US Army, where he spent two years as an infantryman in the 101st Airborne Division. He's the co-author of "The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies", the Humor Editor of Heeb Magazine, and a watcher of TV. Smarter than most funny people, funnier than most smart people, he lives on the Lower East Side with his wife and two sons.

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