05 · Issue 5

Urban Kvetch: “Un-PC”

“Un-PC” Invoking this phrase somehow lends a veneer of heroism to even the most un-heroic of expressions. Say, “Maybe this is un-PC, but the problem with this country is too many immigrants,” and your listeners will applaud your courage. The irony is that being “un-PC” is itself merely the politically correct term for what, in...

Urban Kvetch: Madeleine

Madeleine Would everybody please shut up about Marcel Proust’s madeleine? Honestly, you’d think his entire kaleidoscopic epic was about baked goods. The cookie passage takes up less than one page of the seven-volume series. If, after a few thousand pages of piercing insights wrapped in sinuous prose, all you take home from In Search of...

Urban Kvetch: Shelley Goldberg

Shelley Goldberg Cable station NY1′s “parenting consultant” begins each of her insufferable segments by condescending to her audience. “I’m sort of like a helper for mom and dad,” she says in a tone that would drive even the most benevolent child to beat her with a lunchbox. Her best advice? “Take your children seriously; strive...

Urban Kvetch: “The Rebbe’s Court”

The Rebbe’s Court The world’s first ultra-orthodox soap opera, The Rebbe’s Court, which premiered on Jerusalem TV this past fall, offers a new twist on the traditional daytime drama. According to cast member Oded Menaster, the half-hour show “is all about subtlety, slowness and respect.” Bubbe forgets to buy Shabbas candles, but everyone forgives her....

Urban Kvetch: Aleph-Bet Yoga

Aleph-Bet Yoga The latest mishigas from New Age Jews prescribes embodying individual Hebrew letters in order to achieve spiritual enlightenment. According to its creators, bending over backwards into a “mem” (as in “Miriam”) not only strengthens the shins, but also enhances Jewishness—as if a regular yoga class full of voluntary suffering isn’t Jewish enough. Best...

Urban Kvetch: Fur Coats

Fur Coats Fur coats are really sexy to furry animals like bears, Sasquatch, and middle-aged Israeli men. Lady, if you’re trying to be attractive in that thing, you’re only attracting foxes, rodents and seals who are desperately looking for their lost children. Believe me, seals are terrible in bed (except when they’ve been drinking and...

Urban Kvetch

Public Nail Clipping There can’t be anything more emblematic of the erosion of civic virtue in this nation than the disturbing development of public nail clipping. It’s so acceptable to do your nails in public that clippers now come connected to key chains. (What happened to the good old rabbit’s foot?) Sorry dude, the subway...

WHERE HAVE YOU GONE, SANDY KOUFAX?

It's been 30 years since Sandy Koufax inspired Jewish pride among sports fans when he refused to pitch in the World Series on Yom Kippur. Since then, however, only a few athletes have been publicly celebrated as the heroes of a group better know for its doctors and lawyers. Allen Salkin takes a close look...

One Love

D. J. Waletzky meets dancehall moshiach Matisyahu.

Crimes of Passion

Are you mad, Max? Or just following in your father's footsteps? Tai Power Seeff photographs _Heeb_'s version of the Passion Play.

Where Have You Gone, Sandy Koufax

Allen Salkin explores a subculture obsessed with dragging big-time athletes out of the Jewish closet.