On this campy teen soap, hot mohawk’ed Noah “Puck” Puckerman watches Schindler’s List with his mom and promptly decides to get back to his Semitic roots by nailing Rachel Berry. Unfortunately, that nice Jewish girl won’t even let him “touch her boobs.” Not even after a panty-dropping rendition of “Sweet Caroline.” Who says Jewish girls are easy?
Ultimately, though, the relationship is doomed. Both dark-featured hotties have got it bad for beady-eyed sandy-haired goys: super couple Finn Hudson and Quinn Fabray. (And are those not the whitest, most Christian-y names ever?)
Seriously, that’s like naming a black girl Shaniqua Washington. Or a Jewish boy Ethan Goldberg. (And if you’re reading this right now, Ethan Goldberg, I am sorry.)
But before getting dumped, my boy Puck does get in the very best one-liner ever for getting a chick to make out with you: “We’re a couple of good-looking Jews. It’s natural.”
Try that one at temple, boys.