In breaking news Good Morning America finally explains to the nation the mystery behind Foreign Accent Syndrome, AKA the high-browing of Midwestern housewives and anglophiles like Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow. The report states that after trauma to the brain, victims go from speaking American to ordering burritos or borscht like a native. And I thought it was just Guy Ritche’s dashing good looks that got Madge tongue-twisted.

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