Pay no attention to the god behind the mountain

moses holding tablets from bible mount sinai

After having the Jews go on a fun walk through the desert for a while, God brought them to Mount Sinai.

Lighting flashes and smoke rises from the mountain.

God: I am the mighty and powerful God! Obey my ten commandments!
Hebrews: Where’s that sound coming from?
God: I’m in a cloud, on this mountain.
Hebrew: Whoa sick, I’m taking a look.
God: No! Don’t climb the mountain!
Hebrews: Why not?
God: I’ll get angry if you climb it!
Hebrews: But why though?
God: Stay down there! Just listen to Moses.
Hebrew: What’s that on the mountain? Looks like a smoke machine.
God: Pay no attention to the thing on the mountain!
Hebrews: It’s just weird because that seems like the kind of thing a street magician would say while he’s scamming you.
God: Well that’s the kind of thing a Hebrew would say before he dies.

What do you think?

About The Author

Ilana Strauss

Ilana E. Strauss is a human-shaped collection of atoms that have written for The Atlantic, Reader's Digest, the Washington Post, Tablet, and the Toast.

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