Heeb

Time Out may have published our holiday gift guide, but far be it from us to claim that we’re the sole arbiters of Jewish present-giving. In fact, no matter how you’re opting to construct yourself as a capitalist subject this holiday season, it seems like there is a gift guide out there for you. Here are some of the most noteworthy:

Jewish Geeks
Gearlog.com lists the perfect presents for techie Jews trying to one-up one another in nerdmanship, including menorahs made of LED-lights and scrapped Vespas (pictured above).

Jewish Hippies
Treehugger.com lists gifts like free-trade chocolate gelt and a recycled glass menorah for socially-conscious Semites.

Jewish Soccer Moms
People.com covers its middle American, Jewish mom base by plugging gifts from Target, Tiffany, and strangely, heebmagazine.com.

Jewish Hipster Moms
If your mom is too cool for Hebrew school, check out the gift guide on DesignistDream.com and its DIY-goodies.

Jewish Dogs
Remember when you tried to pin a yarmulke on Rover? An innocent mistake that can now be avoided with these specialized canine gifts at “Bowwowgiftbasket.com“:http://www.bowwowgiftbasket.com/hanukkahdoggift.

Jewish Retards
TheCorporateGiftBaskets.com offers a slideshow of hanukkah-themed gift-baskets, “guaranteed to be 100 percent kosher,” and also 100 percent unimaginative.