Last night on Gossip Girl (that’s right I watch Gossip Girl, fuck you), we were treated to a fashionably late Passover episode. After watching it, however, I fully realized how lame all the Seders at my aunt and uncle’s have been over the years and how lame my life is in general when compared to that of an Upper East Side socialite. Here are just a few examples of how my typical Passover differs from a Gossip Girl Passover:
A Gossip Girl Passover:
Young, beautiful Serena Van Der Woodson and Dan Humphrey exchange juicy bon mots and sexually charged banter.
My Passover:
My father and my Aunt get into an argument over the 2000 Presidential election and spend the entire night taking passive-aggressive pot shots at each other.
A Gossip Girl Passover:
Serena’s new mystery boyfriend from Spain shows up, surprising everyone at the Seder
My Passover:
A feminist friend of the family shows up and self-righteously insists every time God is referred to as a “He” in the Haggadah, that we substitute “She."
A Gossip Girl Passover:
Chuck Bass gets drunk on top-shelf liquor and hooks up with a Russian ballet dancer
My Passover:
I get drunk on syrupy wine while my mother’s cousin regales me with tales of her dental office and calls me a "feygelah" for watching Gossip Girl.
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15 comments
dreidel_hustler
Apr 21, 2009
hahahahahah chaga chaga chaga shmeckle tushy bagel!
Apr 21, 2009
Chuck wasn’t technically at the Seder. I’m just sayin’….
Apr 21, 2009
I would go to any Seder that Chuck Bass attended. I feel like his yarmulke would be slammin’,
karina
Apr 22, 2009
i dunno. your seder sounds pretty entertaining ollwood.
Apr 6, 2010
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