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Artist Guarantees Her Child Will Someday Require Therapy

Profound artist Nina Maria Kleivan photographed her daughter and other now-emotionally-scarred-for-life infants as history’s most notorious figures, including Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini and Saddam Hussein. Her point: all human beings, even newborn innocents,

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Funnyman Joe Biden Enjoys Shtick

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Possibly still smarting from that recent trip to Israel — where he was very publicly sucker-punched by the announcement of additional settlements in East Jerusalem — Vice-President Joe Biden cut loose at the Radio &

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Heeb Conspirator Makes a Grab for a Gubernatorial Candidate’s Boob, Fails

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Heeb’s resident chronic masturbator, Oliver Noble, sat down over the weekend with our pick for the next governor of New York, Kristin Davis, a.k.a. Eliot Spitzer’s former madam.

 

Sadly, the semi-literate Noble couldn’t really

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Chosen Music: Let’s Wrestle, The Method Actors, Michael Yonkers

 

Let’s Wrestle, In the Court of Wrestling Let’s (Merge Records)

On their MySpace, Let’s Wrestle describes their music as ‘“Grunge/Salsa/Dutch/Pop,’” but this debut record is more accessible than you’d imagine. Unless, of course, they’re trying to

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Prayers of Millions Answered: Madoff Does Get Beaten in Prison

The Wall Street Journal confirmed today that Bernie Madoff, the badass Ponzi wizard, was assaulted by a fellow inmate back in December when he was treated for a broken nose and fractured ribs. Back then, both Madoff and officials denied his injuries were the

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Heeb Loves the Internet: Our Web Obsessions

New book Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won’t Be Dating or Having Sex seems to feature most of the cast of Look at this Fucking Hipster. (Lemondrop) Here’s No. 312 – teaching your alpaca how to surf. (The Daily What)

 

Miley Cyrus tells

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Chosen Film: Hot Tub Time Machine

Hot tubs are awesome. Time machines are even better. Sadly, when you smash the two together in movie form, you get the season’s shoddy answer to The Hangover. Like last year’s frat boy fest, Hot Tub Time Machine features unhappy dudes off on a weekend

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Nobody Hates Israel Like CNN Viewers

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While Rick Sanchez chatted politely with Wolf Blitzer about the current US-Israel tensions, followers of his Twitter feed chimed in with these insightful points:

 

Beau1969 believes that “Israel is greedy”

 

Meanwhile, Mattarringt thinks

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Stuff Tushies Hate: Not Wearing Green on St. Patty’s

Be sure to check out more gluteal abhorrences at StuffTushiesHate.tumblr.com

 

Zach Galifianakis Hits Ben Stiller with Delightfully Subtle Jew Jabs

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The last couple episodes of ZG’s makeshift talk show, “Between Two Ferns,” haven’t been all that; the Charlize Theron one in particular feels way too put on. This morning, however, FunnyorDie.com launched a new segment where our

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